Crescent Moons ; J.S. Potter

52. james' final gambit.

James Potter P.O.V.

James had always been good at lying. He wasn't sure where the talent had even come from, but he was very happy he had it because no one could know how utterly miserable he was.

It was supposed to be fun turning eighteen, but James wanted nothing less. He couldn't stand yet another reminder that his time at Hogwarts was coming to an end, and he still hadn't gotten the girl.

"The girl," of course, was the one and only Daisy Wood. His lying had come in especially handy when he had somehow convinced her that he didn't fancy her anymore. That was the biggest and most elaborate lie he had ever said.

James fancied Daisy so much he couldn't even spend one day without talking to her. He couldn't sleep because he would just dream of her. Every time she entered the room or made eye contact with him, everything else faded because nothing else mattered.

Honestly, "fancying" her didn't do his feelings enough justice. "Fancying" wasn't this intense. It wasn't something that lasted from age five to age eighteen. If James simply "fancied" her, he could've snapped out of it when she had blatantly told him to that summer. But he didn't just fancy her.

James loved her.

He was completely and irrevocably in love. He wanted to tell her so badly.

But James couldn't tell her because Daisy was living in blissful oblivion and he sure as hell wasn't going to ruin that for her. She had thanked him for not flirting with her anymore and seemed to love having him just as a friend, even though it felt like James was being stabbed in the heart every time she brought it up.

Which was why he pretended to feel the same.

James had woken up earlier than his friends, whom he knew were planning to wake him up with a bunch of presents. Then, he would pretend to be happy and excited about the party. He just needed a few minutes to be sad before he had to be full of energy for the rest of the day.

Just as Thomas stirred in the bed beside him, James flopped back onto his bed and shut his eyes. He heard Thomas yawn and walk over to Benjamin's bed to wake him up.

"Morning, Ben," Thomas muttered, with a raspy voice. Benjamin sighed.

"Morning," he said. "Oh, wait! It's James' birthday! We've got to surprise him with gifts like we planned!"

"Hey, not so loud, you're going to wake him up!"

"Oh shoot, sorry, babe."

"It's fine, love you."

"Love you, too. Now, let's go get the gifts from our amazing hiding place in the closet! Wow, we're amazing at keeping secrets!"

James almost laughed out loud. He had heard their little plan a few nights ago while he was silently crying himself to sleep, as he did. It was actually quite therapeutic. His two friends had assumed he was already asleep and had planned out their entire surprise.

They did that a lot these days—do things without him. James couldn't be angry. These were his best friends in the world and they were perfect for each other, but James just didn't fit in with them as he used to. Though he could tell they tried their hardest to keep him included, there were times when they just wanted to spend time with each other.

All James wanted for to have that kind of bond with someone ... or specifically, Daisy Wood.

The last few weeks, or specifically since they had returned from winter break, things had felt different with her. She laughed a little more, smiled a little wider, and hugged a little tighter. They had had so many amazing moments, such as riding Buckbeak over Hogwarts, passing notes during Potions, and doing Prefect duties together. If he hadn't been let down for thirteen years, he might've let himself believe she was beginning to fall for him. However, James had resigned himself to believing that he would never, ever get the girl.