Faint love II Jaywon

Chapter 38

Jay's POV

I woke up with a headache. I shot my eyes to look up at the ceiling of our school clinic. Tears rolling down my cheeks thinking about Jungwon. He is in comatose. He was fine after the surgery then what happened now?

"Zay, are you awake?" Niki asked me and I started sobbing. He walked towards me and helped me sit up.

"It's ok Jay”

"How? Niki, why is it always him? Why always he suffers?" he invited me in a hug
"It's fine. Nothing will happen. I know he has gone through a lot so he can do this as well."

"I don't want to lose him again." I said burying my face in his chest.

"You are not loosing him Jay and none of us are losing him." I shot my head up to look at Sunoo and others.

"Why did you keep this a secret from me?"
"Sorry for not telling you but we knew this would have happened before. Heeseung hyung asked us not to tell you this or else you would have blamed yourself. Jay, we need to stay strong. Let's believe in ourselves and Jungwon. He will return." Jake said.

The doctor came up to us and gave me medicine for my fever. It was gone two days ago just to come back now. I spent that remaining day crying in the clinic. I can't imagine his state right now. He hasn't0 gotten up for the last three days. If he was here, I would have never left him alone. I want to see him very badly.

That day I went home and locked myself in my room not wishing to see anyone. My mom tried to talk to me but I refused. I need time for this. I have to keep telling myself that he will come back.

The next day my fever went up again due to malnutrition and lack of sleep. My medication wasn't helping me much. I skipped school for two days and finally when I was stable physically, I resumed going back.

I heard a knock on my door. I was crying while hugging my pillow. I got up and wiped my tears. I opened the door to look at my mother smiling sadly. She was holding a tray of food in her hand. I skipped my dinner today as well. I asked her to keep the food on my table and leave, instead she sat on my bed edge where I was lying. She stroked my back and hair in comfort.

"Jay-ah I know it's hard and I don't know if I should say this but it's fine. He will get up. Do you think he will like this behaviour of yours? You are skipping meals, do you think he will like this?" I shook my head, which was buried in the pillow.

"Then please get up and eat something I have prepared for your favourite dish."
"How can I eat when he's not?"

"I know but look at you. You are lacking strength. This is wrong Jay. Please listen to mom?"

"I want to see him.”

"Let's video call Heeseung? He will show you Jungwon then."

"How am I supposed to see him in that state?"

"You said you want to see him."
I sighed and gave up. She removed her phone from her pocket and dialled Heeseung hyung's number to have a video call. She hugged me with one hand as I was trembling. He picked up the call.

"Hey Heeseung.”

"Hello aunty, hi Jay." he said smiling sadly.

"Jay?" I looked at him. "Why are you looking so skinny? Aren't you eating? I told you he is fine and if you don't take care he won't like this." he scolded but in a caring way. I just nodded.

"He wants to see Jungwon." mom said. He got up from his seat to go to another room. My heart was pounding vigorously in my chest.

Finally he reached the room. I could hear the sound of the ventilator which made me very nervous. He got to Jungwon's bed and angled the camera to his face. I bursted in tears. My mother tightened the hug. She was also crying now. His face looked tired. Tube was inserted in his nose. His sheep eyes, which I love the most, were closed. He was looking fragile. Too fragile.

"Jay, don't cry. He will be fine. He is just sleeping. He has become lazy nowadays. He is just sleeping the whole day. I bet when his laziness dies he won't let us sleep then.'' His sentence sent a very hard pang in my heart. I sobbed harder and my mother and Heeseung hyung continuously uttered comforting words to me.

"See baby, you now know his condition right?" she asked and I nodded. My face in her neck's crook.

"So, when he gets back, don't you think he will need your help at the beginning? Will you be able to help him if you are weak?" I shook my head.

"She is right Jay. You need to take care of yourself first and then Jungwon's. We still don't know how many more days or weeks he will take to get up, but doctors said he is going to wake up." I nodded again.

"Look here." he asked and I looked at the screen. He adjusted the camera so that Jungwon's face is shown. "

He's just sleeping. You said your love isn't faint anymore so he will get up. Let's trust him. I know my brother isn't someone who gives up easily until he reaches his aim. Now eat up and rest. Don't stress yourself out okay?" I replied with a nod and before hanging up I hugged the phone in which Jungwon's face was seen. My mother chuckled but I really wanted to hug Jungwon.

Days were passing, weeks passed and it's been two and a half months. Jungwon is still lying on his bed with his eyes closed. I video called Heeseung hyung everyday. He used to set the laptop up and leave the room. I was the only one who used to speak. Jungwon just listened or maybe not. His treatment was on going but he never showed signs of getting up yet. Every Time I saw his face, I wished I was with him from the start. His diary was with me which I used to hug to sleep. I want him to replace its place. I tried hard but eventually skipped my meals and sleep.

I spent most of the time in the music room where Jungwon used to sit. I miss his voice. I was losing strength. Niki and others were worried but nothing made sense to me other than Jungwon. I was taken to the school's clinic every two or three days because of my fainting or panic attacks. I was so desperate to meet him but my parents didn't allow me and neither did Jungwon's. They said I will get more weak but this is killing me. My parents didn't allow me to sleep or stay in my room with the door locked, they thought I would take the wrong step. At this point I can't live and can't die. I am not able to see him so there is no point in living but I have to wait for Jungwon.

"Happy birthday love." I said staring at the screen with tears in my eyes. He turned nineteen today. "Come on Jungwon, aren't you going to say thank you? It's been a very long time since I wished you last on your birthday. Isn't it special for us? We are now a part of each others festival again. See I have got you music cds. I know what kind of songs you like. It's your birthday gift from me. Look now don't just sleep ok? The teacher said we are having our exams soon. So quit sleeping and study. At Least get up. Have you made a wish for your birthday?"
Silence.

"Oh I see you haven't. Let me do it for you! 'I wish to get up soon, Zzay and I to be happy together, and to have a great life with my family, friends and Zzay.'I know you would have wished the same thing. Ok I'm hanging up now. Take some res- oh you are already resting so, I must say get up soon. Please Jungwon. I love you." I said and hung up. My heart aches. I gulped the lump in my throat and shut my eyes for the tears to roll down.

(An- ONLY TWO MORE CHAPTERS!!!)