𝗕𝗟𝗨𝗘 𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗟𝗗 , the walking dead

[42] the struggle

THE STRUGGLE
———

CREEPING TOWARDS THE FRONT DOOR, Carl was ready to go see Kai and give him a piece of his very scared and very worried mind. To tell him off for going out, especially without him or without telling him. But besides that, Carl just wanted to be with him—he was scared because when Rory first told him about what happened, he feared the worst. A pain filled his chest and he felt like breaking down, but Rory told him to hold off and let Kai be with his siblings.

It killed Carl to give him space, wishing every second that he could just run to him and be with him. To hold him and yell at him all at the same time, but he couldn't—he gave him space for as long as he could. That's why Carl was sneaking out of the house, so that Rory wouldn't be able to tell him no now.

As Carl is pulling open the door, he feels a familiar presence behind him. Making him freeze in his actions, dropping his hand back to his side as he took a deep breath knowing that he has been caught.

When Carl turns around, he notices his sister standing there at the bottom of the steps with her arms crossed over her chest as she says, "Where are you going? It's the middle of the night."

"To see Kai, like I should have hours ago." Carl told her, sticking to his plan. No matter what, he was walking out of here to see his boyfriend.

Rory softened her look, knowing that her brother badly wanted to go check on Kai. She knew it killed him to stay aside to give Kai sometime with Daryl and his siblings, but it had to be done. Although as she saw his struggle, and she saw that all he wanted was to go to him.

"Carl, it's late. Kai's probably asleep, you can check on him in the morning." Rory started to turn away, hoping that her brother would follow but was quick to realize that he was stubbornly stuck in place. "Come on Carl, he's alive and he will be alive tomorrow. Give him some rest—"

Carl shook his head, practically biting back his tongue but nothing could stop the next words that blurted out of his mouth uncontrollably "No! You don't get it, I would like to go and check on my traumatized boyfriend if you don't—"

His words cut off, he was in complete and utter shock at the words that let his mouth. The confession he just unwillingly made, the realization hitting his face as his eyes widen and his mouth went instantly dry. Carl felt like a punch to his gut, standing there as he felt like he was put under a sudden spotlight.

"Boyfriend?" Rory repeated as a question, giving her brother a chance to change his answer. To take back what he said and she'd accept whatever excuse he wanted to give, because she didn't want him to regret this.

Carl on the other hand, all he could think about was that this was the moment he had been waiting for. He wasn't ever expecting to do some grand coming out, he never wanted to make a big deal out of it because to him it wasn't a big deal. It shouldn't be, not when they are at war with the dead everyday. This should be one of the last things on his mind, but somehow it seems to be all he could think about.

So, when Rory gave him the chance to back out, he knew that it was either now or never. He decided--despite being scared, that now was the time. That's why Carl nodded his head, confirming what Rory asked.

"You're dating?!" Rory's voiced raised, in an excited squeal. Carl reacted by jumping toward her and throwing a hand against her mouth, telling her to silent herself. Carl didn't want the whole house walking up to come and join this coming out.