𝗕𝗟𝗨𝗘 𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗟𝗗 , the walking dead

[60] death by a thousand cuts

DEATH BY A THOUSAND CUTS
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THE STRONG SPELL OF SPAGHETTI SAUCE FILLED THE HOUSE, Negan stood next to the stove wearing an apron and as he gave his cooking a little taste test. He seems to enjoy it once he hums in approval, then spoke up, "I used to do this for my boy all the time, never was as good as this." Negan reminisced about the days with his son, cooking in their kitchen for his wife. Even though that was before the end of the world, it was a much more complicated time.

Pushing away the thoughts as easily as they came, Negan turned around with a amused look on his face, seeing Kai and Carl standing on the opposite side of the kitchen. Carl was rolling out the dough for the spaghetti on the counter, while Kai stood beside him holding baby Judith in one arm and mixing lemonade with the other.

Judith laid her head on Kai's shoulder, she wasn't aware of anything that was wrong, all she knew was that she was comfortable. She was practically falling asleep in his arms, but even as a baby she could almost sense that something was wrong with Kai—it's why she hasn't been able to fully fall asleep.

Thing was, Kai was trying not to feel anything, he kept his focus on the lemonade in front of him. His body had gone numb on the drive over, it's how he managed to be standing up right—his body was working on auto pilot.

He refused to let his mind wonder to the images of Maeve standing in front of him, looking like a shell of herself. But he knew why, he knew it was because of their brother, who had been reduced to nothing but blood on a cell. Kai pushed out all those thoughts, he couldn't feel them right now, his body was in survival mode. That meant numbing himself to the pain swelling inside of him.

If he let himself feel, he'd have to face the reality of situation. The face he's standing in the room with his brother's killer, making god damn spaghetti.

"Look at you two, a god damn picture perfect family. I'm just loving this." Negan beamed, gesturing between the two boys, especially since one of them was holding a child.

This is when Carl finally looks over at Kai, for the first time since they left the Sanctuary, not that he hadn't wanted to. It was just that he could tell that Kai had shut himself out, and there was only one thing that would bring him back—that was Carl. One look from Carl could be the boys undoing, one touch from him could make Kai crumble completely.

But now, Carl just had to—he needed to. He saw his boyfriend standing there, but it felt like staring at a void, the only thing keeping him in this world was the baby he held. Everything in Carl wanted to just reach out and touch him, to comfort him and be there for him. But neither of them could afford that right now, Kai couldn't feel his grief and Carl couldn't let him, they both understood that.

"Come on, Kai, let's sit." Negan stated, urging the boys forward. Mindlessly Kai listened, moving to go sit down at the table. Negan sat at the head of it, while patting the spot closest to him for Kai to sit, a smirk that could mean a million things plastered on his face.

Kai placed Judith in the highchair, while Carl finished working on the spaghetti, he went and took his seat. Carl wanted to go over there and help him, but he just kept a close eye on his boyfriend.

It almost seemed like there was just no fight left in the boy, as if he had given up entirely—but that just wasn't the case. Kai had to much fight left him in, that's why he had to shut everything out. His fight would get everyone killed, and the problem was—he would risk it all.