𝗕𝗟𝗨𝗘 𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗟𝗗 , the walking dead

[28] touch me

TOUCH ME
trigger warning : sexual content
———

MAEVE LAID IN BED, tossing and turning in the bed that Elliott laid in many times, but it was empty now. They have officially broken up, and Maeve wasn't sure how she felt about it. Of course, Elliott meant something to her, he's been in her life for several years now, they've been through a lot together and she owes him so much. But that's exactly why they were together for so long, it had gotten to the point where Maeve felt like she had an obligation to be with him. She convinced herself it was better that way so that she wouldn't have to hurt him.

But something changed. He was right about that, in these past few weeks something has changed that made Maeve push him away. Subconsciously or not. But no, she doesn't regret the breakup, she regrets how long it took her since she strung Elliott along this whole time. She also regrets how it all went down, that was never how she intended to do it. He deserved better, better than her. Even after the awful things he said, part of her still cares about him.

Now, Maeve's alone and Elliott is apparently staying at Carol's house, according to Rory. Maeve hasn't slept alone in forever, in the woods you're never truly alone, and since being in Alexandria she always had Elliott next to her.

Maeve wasn't sure what to do, Kai was sound asleep and she didn't want to bother him just because she's restless. Louis spent the night with Rory at the Grimes, so Maeve really did feel alone in this dark cold night.

The longer she laid like a lifeless corpse on the bed staring up at the ceiling, the smaller the walls started to feel around her. The room suddenly shrinking with each breath she took, the small fire lamp on her bedside seemed to be going dimmer the longer it was on. She couldn't turn it off, not when she knows she won't be able to sleep and then she'll be left in the dark. She doesn't like the dark.

No one, not even Maeve, would've expected the effects loneliness would have had on her. She was surprised and embarrassed to admit that there was a familiar feeling of tightness building up in her chest as she laid there—alone.

There was no way Maeve would allow herself to have an anxiety attack because she was alone for once. It was embarrassing and pathetic, she was a grown women and didn't need anyone.

So, Maeve pushed herself up, her arms and legs aching at the new movement after hours of practically laying still. She got up, grabbed the nearest sweatshirt and threw it on but left herself in her shorts.

After that, Maeve snuck out of her bedroom and tiptoed past Kai's bedroom as quietly as she could. Avoiding all the creaky floorboards she could remember. Once she was on the stairs, she still remained quiet, knowing how light of a sleeper Kai is. She did this all the way until she was at the front door, when she got there she twisted the door knob open and slipped out. Unnoticed.

Immediately the chill breeze of the night brushed against Maeve's bare legs, giving her goosebumps along her skin. She pulled her hood over her hair and tucked her hands into the pockets of her sweater, at least she could keep her upper half warm.

Maeve went on a walk, in the open air and the moonlight. It was much better out here, seeing as there were no shrinking walls and the moon was an excellent nightlight. Out here Maeve felt like she could breathe and think clearly without missing the absence in her bed.

As she was walking, she kept replaying Elliott's word in her head, 'incapable of love.' Now, she knows that she loves people, like her brothers and Rory, and she is learning to love more people here as her close friends. But she knows what he really means, not just family love—real love.