The mergeverse

Comfort

I was a bit surprised when Nightmare, one of the monsters Moon was merged with, was the one to check on me. Of course he was just in control of her body, much like Horror and Killer have done with me. And unfortunately, he had a point. I should probably head back inside. As nice as the fresh air was for calming down, it wasn't exactly comfortable out here.

I got up, my legs nearly giving out again due to how much I had been shaking still. God damnit I really need to figure out a way to not feel so damn weak after these stupid panic attacks. I could feel tears still slightly streaming down my cheeks so I just wiped them away as I walked back inside. Walking still kinda hurt a bit and I was starting to get a headache again, likely from when I had hit my head a couple nights ago.

I must've looked like actual shit because when I did manage to get inside, Moon, who I guessed was probably actually still Nightmare, looked up from making food and actually gave me a concerned look. And for the guy who was meant to be the literal king of negativity to seem worried, I probably wasn't looking so good.

"I know that look, and before you even ask, no, I'm clearly not okay right now. I feel and probably look like shit right now." I saw Nightmare go over to one of the cabinets in the kitchen and grab something. It was medicine of some kind. I couldn't tell from here. "Here, take a couple of these, should help the headache." He said, coming over and handing me the bottle. "Oh, thanks."

I sat down on the couch, then took a couple of the pills out and just swallowed them with nothing, not feeling like trying to find some water or something like that to take them with. "Did not expect you to just down them like that but ok." Nightmare's expression was pretty hard to read, but I guessed it was a mix of being confused and being slightly impressed, just by what I could tell of it.

"Not the weirdest thing I've done." I handed back the bottle. He went and put it back. "I'm not even gonna ask what kind of things you've done." He said, shaking his head slightly. "You should eat by the way, I know for a fact how little you've eaten these past few days. I've already made some food, I can make a bit more for you if you'd like." I just nodded. "Yeah, that'd be nice, thanks."

He got started on making a bit more food. "So, you sure you don't wanna talk about what was happening with you earlier?" I heard him say. "Honestly, no I'm not sure. Like part of me knows I should talk to someone about it but the other part of me just doesn't wanna for some uh, personal reasons." He brought out the food for both of us, then sat down next to me. "Plus, why would you of all people be the one to care so much?"

He shrugged. "It's mainly Moon that's worried and I think it's starting to rub off on me a bit. Plus, you were having a literal panic attack just a couple of minutes ago, and something's telling me that it's not the first time you've dealt with one recently." I took a couple bites of food before responding. "Listen, if I tell you I don't exactly want Moon knowing, so you have to promise me she's still asleep. I don't wanna worry her too much."

He nodded. "I promise. I'll let you know when she starts waking up. But I think it'll help you some to talk to someone about it. Plus, I'm also kind of benefiting from this y'know." Right, King of Negativity. "Fine, I guess it's better than just having to try and talk to the two people in my head about this kind of stuff."

"So uh, first of all you were right about the fact this isn't the first panic attack I've had recently. I've been kinda prone to them, even as a kid. But I've been having them a bit more frequently the past few days because of some other things going on I think."

"Basically, I don't really remember much of my past. Next to nothing pretty much. But recently, I've started remembering some things if I go to familiar places. They've been coming to me as dreams. Or I guess rather nightmares." Nightmare must've noticed me tensing up a bit. "Not good memories I suppose?" I nod. "Most are.. pretty bad. And a couple have been triggering the panic attacks due to just how.. disturbing.. some of the images left in my mind are."

"Hey, you don't have to explain the actual memories if you don't want to, but it might help some more." I sigh and continue. "No, I should explain them. It's too much for me to have to carry on being the only one to know them."

"A couple of the memories were just simple little fragments. Usually they're with my brother and I when I was much younger and he was.. still alive.. But a couple were longer and more detailed. One specifically, a reoccurring nightmare I used to have constantly, was a memory of his death. I.. don't wanna go into detail with it but the image of him during it haunts me so much."

"More recently, I had another memory that's been haunting me. It was a fight with my dad. I guess he wasn't a very good man, according to my mom in the memory. But, something happened during the fight and.. things went too far." Nightmare must've guessed what happened based on my expression. "You don't have to continue with that one if it's too uncomfortable." I nod. "Thanks.."

"Seems like a lot for someone as young as you to have to hold onto without any help." I just sigh and nod. "It's a lot, but I guess I've just gotten used to the burden of it with how many times I relive these memories now."

"I do have one last question kid, what caused the panic attack earlier? You haven't mentioned that yet." Ah, right. That memory. "Well, it was from a memory last night. It started with just me and my brother stargazing, it seemed like such a peaceful dream. Sure, it was a bit sad, but nothing too bad. But.. then it changed. It was just me. I'm guessing this had been after my brother died because I was by his grave. And I.." My voice caught in my throat. Shit not again. "Hey, if it hurts to talk about, we don't have to." I nod, feeling the tears in my eyes start to form again. "Sorry.." 

I heard Nightmare mumble something along the lines of: "Errors gonna hate me for this." before he pulled me into a hug. I was caught a bit of guard, especially since this was Nightmare of all people doing this. "Don't be sorry kid, it's not something you can control. If you need to cry, just let it out. I don't mind."

I couldn't help it. I hugged him back and just cried. I hadn't had this kind of comfort in years. It was.. oddly nice. "Look kid, a friend of the host is gonna be a friend of mine. I may be the literal King of Negativity, but that doesn't mean I won't care. If you ever need something, just ask. I know Error can make things a bit difficult when it comes to physical comfort due to his haphephobia, but that doesn't mean you can't still ask. If anything I'll just trigger it so Moon doesn't have the burden of doing so, cause quite frankly I don't actually care if I piss off Error for this type of thing." I couldn't help but chuckle a bit at that. "Thanks, I really appreciate it. Even if I know this is gonna be triggering Errors phobia."

"You're welcome kid. Now come on, finish up your food. I'm sure Moon will be waking up soon"

{Yeah I'm lazy and am leaving it off here lol, a bit of angst still but yall get a bit of a wholesome moment with Nightmare and Dagger. Despite Moon not actually really being in this chapter, reminder that they belong to @FanFicLover6982 and you should check out their book for my chapters to make sense.}