Fallen (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 43 - A Terrible Alpha

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The weight resting on my chest created a peaceful, calming comfort I wasn't used to having. Even when everything was perfect within my pack and with my mother and friends, there was always an underlying worry that something would go awry. As an Alpha, I always had to be ready for something to go wrong, I always had to be ready to respond to it and react in a way that would make everyone around me less afraid or worried.

But in that room, as the sound of soft rain tapped against the roof of the cabin, despite everything I knew I needed to worry about, I felt completely at ease. It was clear that that had everything to do with the man asleep on my chest at the moment.

My hand was resting on his arm, thumb stroking the soft skin beneath it. I was worried about him in the cold brought on by the rain, but the cabin was small and the fire in the living room was sufficient enough to create warmth throughout the house.

I slid my hand over the arm on my chest until it reached his hand and lifted it to inspect the bandage wrapped around his palm. We had decided to do some cooking after spending time outside and when a jug of juice slipped from the table, Talian, being ever careless about his own well-being, immediately reached to grab a piece from the floor because it had landed right beside my foot and he was afraid I'd step on it.

Leaving it there would have been the better option because unlike I would have, he did not immediately heal after the glass sliced into his skin. Good thing I had begun keeping a first-aid kit in my car because of him.

His immediate reaction to getting hurt was telling me not to move because the floor was still covered in glass and juice. I'd retorted back that he should take his own advice. Of course, I had moved. We both had. I was able to get the glass swept up in the couple of seconds it took him to lift off the ground. Every nick I got during the process healed in barely a second and that was when he listened to me and just landed on the counter, his legs hanging off the edge while waiting as I grabbed the first aid kit.

The look in his eyes when I was checking and covering the wound had struck me deeply, so much that it was still crystal clear in my memory as I stared down at his now-closed eyes. He looked afraid, his eyes glassing over and filling with tears as they had constantly in the past few days.

I didn't know what he was hiding, and it was killing me because I couldn't make him feel better, couldn't help him if he wouldn't let me. Maybe I wouldn't be able to either way but if he spoke, at least I would be able to try.

That was the thing I knew was distinctly different about our relationship compared to the one I would have with my mate.

He didn't seem to trust me.

Mates trusted each other profoundly and completely immediately. There was no need to build that. Werewolves just knew that the person they were mated to was the one that would never abandon them, never hurt them, never judge them, never stay mad for too long. It didn't matter what the situation was, every werewolf would choose their mate and everyone trusted their mate with their lives.

If he was my mate, maybe I would have been able to understand his feelings, because I would have felt them too. Maybe I would have caught a bit of his thoughts when linking to him... So he wouldn't have to say anything.

I felt my own eyes begin to burn as I stared at him. I just wanted him to feel safe with me. To trust me. But that made me realise he did not really have a reason to, because he wasn't my mate.

I bit my lip as a thought dawned on me. As I had told him to be careful with Nick... Was he being careful with me? Trying not to get attached because he thought I would find my mate one day, even though I had made it clear I had none?