In between the good and bad.

Chapter 59

Penelope's POV

I wake up with a headache and wonder if I even set the baby monitor on. Rachel had taken the kids so I could have the night off. She forced me out the door and told me to get drunk or go dance or 'whatever young people do'.

I sit up pushing my hair out of my face when I feel the weight of Harrison's arm around my middle.

Harrison.

Last night floods through me and I feel it in between my legs suddenly. "Fuck."  I mumble. What the fuck have I done? I take two steps forward and 10 drunk steps back. Not only this, I cheated on Caleb? Oh God oh God. We were in his hotel suite. I take his arm off of me and dress myself. Harrison clears his throat and sits up rubbing his eye.

"Penelope?" He asks confused almost. I watch his face as I zip myself up. "Fuck." He mumbles coming to the realization of what we have done. Well glad to see he wasnt happy about it either. Actually... not glad to see actually..

"What the fuck were we thinking?" I say throwing his shirt at him that I accidentally step on. He pulls on his boxers and just scratches his head.

"Were grown adults? We cant have sex?"

"No we cannot have sex Harrison." I say annoyed. "We are divorced remember?"

"That was your call." He sighs as he sits down on the side of the bed. "That was your call Harrison."

"You tell me right now Penelope... that you do not have any feelings for me and that it is all gone." He says. I look at Harrison for a second. I cannot go there with him. It will only make things worse.

"Its all gone." I say as I blink away some tears quickly. Why the fuck was I crying now? Harrison looks at me like I just punched him in the gut and it pissed me off even more.

"You got rid of all of that for me. When you treated me like trash and nearly fucking killed me. I lost count. You abused me emotionally, physically and psychologically. Now I have four children to share with you and I have to face you every for 17 more years. So no its not just sex and its not just me losing my feelings for you.." I tell him

"Im sorry Penelope. I truly am."

"Thats just never going to cut it." I say as I step back to leave the room.

"So what? Nothing positive to report? Nothing positive about the 6 years we were together?"

"You know what they say... we remember the negative always and forget the positive." I say. I was breaking down here. I wanted to get it all of my chest.

"Fuck you Penelope." He says. "You are right. What the fuck were we thinking? Sorry miss angel."

"Well fuck you too." I say before storming out. I walk over to my hotel suite and quietly go into my bedroom not to wake Rachel and the children. Fuck. I crawl into bed and just cry for a while. My chest felt heavy and sad. Always let that asshole hurt me.

Why do I continue making stupid decisions...

I wake up and find the children getting ready with Rachel in the living room. The hotel suite was beautiful. Had 4 bedrooms. Ashley had his own room and Riley and Ruby shared. Azaiah slept in my room but Rachel had him last night in her room.

"Good morning. How was your night?" Rachel asks me as I kiss the kids heads and pick up Azaiah cuddling him.

"Went well and then..." I say as I watch Ashley run out to get his shoes. "I ended up in Harrison's bed." I mouth to Rachel who frowns. "What! Penelope." She says frowning.

"Then we had a fight in the middle of the night and I came back. I was so drunk." I mumble.

Ashley returns and luckily Rachel keeps her telling off to herself. "Everyone ready for brunch?" Rachel says and I pull my hair into a bun on top of my head. I had on a simple dark purple dress that was sleeveless and had no straps. It was tight but was down to my knees. I had on cute sandals and was ready for a day of fun activities with the children. Now I was not so sure about facing Harrison. Might tell him to have the kids and I can hide in the hotelroom after brunch.