In between the good and bad.

Chapter 63

Penelope's POV

A week later in Harrison's house, he still had not returned from his trip to Seattle. I thought about our last conversation and it continued to go round and round in my head. I was starting to think I was remembering things wrong.

The kids went to bed and I sat in the kitchen with my thoughts and just silence. My house was nearly ready and I was worried I would return without Harrison coming back.

"Penelope..." Ashley says as he appears in the kitchen. I was so in my own thoughts I did not hear him. Ashley had a tendency to be quiet in his step. I have noticed he does it more often since his father and I divorced.

"Hey thought you were asleep." I say as he rubs his eyes. "I was struggling to sleep." He tells me as he stood in his pyjamas with little cartoons all over it. He was out growing stuff fast and he has told me a million times to stop buying him things with cartoons on it. But I hate the thought of Ashley being so grown.. he was turning into a teenager and it frightened me.

"You want some warm milk?" I ask him.

"Sure." He says as he sits down as I heat it up for him. He struggled to sleep sometimes and we would talk and have some milk and he tried again.

"Whats on your mind?" I ask him as I prepare the milk.

"I am worried about you living with dad again." He says softly. I admired Ashley for his ability to speak his mind even if he thought the topic was awkward or could get him into trouble.

"What? Why?" I ask.

"I feel worried about you and I dont like to see him upset. When you guys are together he gets upset and when youre not he is more around and focused... I am worried when he gets upset  you might get hurt..."

"Im sorry Ashley you should not have been subjected to any of that."

"Its not your fault? Your both just love each other a lot." He says nodding.

I dont know if that is love... he was getting the wrong idea. Fuck we have fucked up. My stomach turned at the thought of him thinking this was love.. love was supposed to be plain and boring. A consistent and stable thing. He is associating it with violence and the aftermath.

"We are not getting back together Ash. Also the house is ready in a few days. Back to normal. Days with me and days with your dad."

"But... you need to be focused and behave yourself." I add on. "In school and at home."

"I will try my absolute best-ish." He says smiling and I roll my eyes. "Get back to bed." I tell him and he nods as I hug him kissing the top of his head.

I drag myself out of bed the next morning. It was the weekend and I was taking the kids to William and Stassie's for some fun.

We sit in the backyard and the kids jumped in and out of the pool.

"This is so nice." I say as I sit back and drink the margarita Stassie made. "Love this." I say looking at the glass.

"Thanks I have this signature drink now I give my guests. Im a proper home maker." She jokes sitting down. William was in the pool with the kids.

"How are you?" She asks

"Good. Just tired." I chuckle. "Its been busy with all 4."

"Harrison still away?"

"Yeah. He said 48 hours and been gone for like a week." I say.

"Maybe he got a new boo there?" She asks.

"That would be weird... he was proclaiming his love to me minutes before he left."

"What?" Stassie says with wide eyes. "I thought the two of you had moved on somewhat?"