James Marriott's kid

Part 18

James PoV:
She just cried. I was close to crying as well. 16 and wanting to kill herself.. she kept apologising to me and i felt bad for her. I kept rubbing her back slowly trying to calm her. "Breathe..I'm here darling.." i said. "I didn't want to worry you..i just wanted to be honest.." she said. "Hey i know..I'm glad you told me that's all i wanted for you to do. I'm here for you but i can't help you if you're not going to be honest.." i said. I kissed her head. "I wanted to be honest..but it's fucked with you and me" she said. "I didn't mean to hurt you.." she mumbled. "Oh darling no..you didn't hurt me..I'm just worried and i always have been..mental Health is shit sometimes okay..you just need to right person to talk to..if there's anyone you'd rather speak to then tell me.." i said. "You..i want to speak to you..it's just hard" she said. "Okay..okay..I'm here for you. You've spoken to me and you know u always can" i said. I pulled her up further resting her head on my shoulder. She was calming down. I rubbed my hand over her arm gently. "Your okay..shh" i said again. I was really worried for ems. "I won't leave you..not yet.." she mumbled. "I won't leave you either..don't worry darling" i said kissing her head. We sat there for a while until she calmed down. Her breathing was still fairly fast. "Hey breathe...it's okay. Your okay..your safe" i said. "I'm really fucking sorry! I'm so sorry!" She said again. "Stop apologising darling..it's okay. We all feel like this at some point. Just breathe" i said. She finally calmed down entirely. "Your okay.." i said again. I wiped the tears from her face with my hand. She hugged me tighter. I hugged her tighter rubbing my hand up and down her back slowly. "Here..have a sip of this.." i said grabbing the water from my desk. She lent off me drinking the water slowly. "Shh..shh.." i said again. I sat with her talking to her again. She was breathing normally now. I was glad she was calm and talking with me. I was trying to explain to her how she could get help. She didn't want to have therapy which is entirely understandable. We agreed that for now she could talk to me and I'd help her. If it was to keep happening then she'd have to go to a therapist. I told her to shower then come and see me in my office. While she showered i just sat in my office thinking. As long as she was calm and happy to talk to me i was okay with it. Soon she came back into my office. "Hi darling.." i said. "Hi.." she mumbled. "Come here" i said turning my chair to face her opening my arms. She came over. "Look..thank you for telling me how you're feeling..I'm here for you to talk with yea? Just make sure you do talk to me or anyone else. You can speak with Tom or Molly even Willne anyone of us will listen okay?" I said. "I know..I'm just scared your send me away! To those awful places!" She said. "Darling...we'd never! Any of them would tell me first what you've said to them. They'd never just send you away! And i wouldn't!" I said. "But..." she said. "I promise..darling I'd never!" I cut her off. She looked at me. Slowly she nodded. I hugged her. "I love you Ems.." i said. "I love you too James" she said. She let go off me and i did too. She walked off. I assumed she wanted to be alone to think so i left her.
Ems PoV:
FUCKING STUPID! WHY THE FUCK DID YOU TELL JAMES?! I went to my room. Instantly i put my headphones in to silence my stupid voices. I began hyperventilating but tried to calm down. I eventually got myself to chill. I sat on the floor of my room music blasting through my head. My head hurt from the loud music but it was better than the voices. Anything was better than the voices! If i was honest with myself...it was good id told James. Maybe i told him too much though!? Fuck it! It was too late! I'd told him now! "JAMES?" i shouted. I wanted him. I took of my headphones. "Yea? You okay darling?" He said coming in my room. "No..I'm not!" I said. "Okay..what's up?" He said walking over to me. "I..just feel like i shouldn't have told you. I mean I'm glad i did but also I'm not..because what if..i don't know!" I said getting angry. I clenched my fist but refrained from punching the floor. "Hey..it's okay" he said taking my hands. They were still in a fist. He carefully opened my fist. "No hitting..good job for not" he said. He sat next to me my hand still in his. "Ems..you did the right thing telling me. If you didn't tell me something bad might of happened to you" James said. "I'm proud of you for telling me all that. It was a lot to say especially for a 16 year old." He said. I leant my head on his shoulder. "I just didn't think telling anyone would help..that's why i didn't." I said. "Darling..talking about your feelings is always helpful" he said. "I promise you anyone will listen to you and help you. If you don't tell people how you feel then you can't get help. Especially if you need it darling" he finished. "Okay..I'm sorry" i said. "Please stop apologising it's fine sweetheart" he lent his head on mine. "You're the best James" i said. James smiled. Dont offer me food! Please don't offer me food.. "look why don't we go for a walk eh? You can just clear your head" he offered. "Yea..okay" i said. We both put on our shoes and went for a walk.