On His Roster (Aviación #1) Completed

48

Million dollar

Ayaw ko siyang makausap ngayon kasi pakiramdam ko mas lalo lang sasama ang pakiramdam ko. Wala pa akong pahinga at ang dami nang nangyayari sa buhay ko.

Pumayag naman siya at tinanggap ang sinabi kong mag uusap kami kung kailan kaya kong makinig sa paliwanag niya. Hindi ito ang araw na iyon lalo na at di ko malunok at nandidiri ako tuwing naiisip ang kataksilan niya.

Ayaw niya akong paalisin na mag isa kaya pinapunta niya si Yoni para masamahan ako pauwi sa accomodation. Matapos ang isang linggo ay hindi ko parin kaya na humarap sa kaniya.

At nalaman ko pa na nagkasuntukan pa sa airport dahil biglang inatake ni Angelo si Deuce. Sabi naman ni Yoni ay nalaman daw ni Angelo ang kung anong nangyari sa akin kaya nagalit ng sobra.

I would be quite concerned about Deuce's reputation at work if I were the same person again, especially in light of the brawl that occurred between him and Angelo and Barry. But now i don't really care about other people anymore because I'm so consumed and angry with my own sorrow.

Namuhay ako ng tahimik at hindi na gumawa ng kung anong issue at ingay lalo na sa trabaho. Napagod at nagsawa na sa daming iniisip mas pinili ko nalang na umuwi tapos matulog.

I continue to sleep in my bed while time passes and people go on. It's as if it never occurred while I'm here, thinking and being foolish, you know? It's not worth it, difficult to explain. It's not worth losing my sanity like this.

I don't want to put myself in danger so that I can experience the same horror I did when he deceived me. The thought that even though everyone who has gone may feel like they have died, there will always be a resurrection one day when the time comes.  It is a cycle, meeting new people and losing old ones. 

Ang hirap makulong sa ganitong kalungkutan na para bang hirap lumabas, ang hirap kumawala. Ang hirap gumawa ng desisyon kahit na alam kong isang desisyon lang ang makakatulong sa akin para makapagpatuloy na ako sa buhay ko.

Umiiwas na rin ako sa grupo kahit kay Dinara na kasama ko lang sa apartment. Hindi naman nangungulit tungkol kay Deuce pero mas nakakabuti na lumayo muna at mapag isa.

Being a mistress is such a horrible and frustrating situation to be in. You should stop it even though it hurts. That's what I'm telling myself right now. Stopping this mistake is necessary so that I don't commit further sins and reckless actions. 

Women ought to set the example for men by telling them what they are worth. I believe that my value comes from being someone's first choice rather than their backup and an after thought.

Don't give in dahil lang sinabi niya na maghihiwalay na sila na hihiwalayan niya na. It is a lie to keep you as their victim. Women don't deserve to wait until the position is open, and his defenses only imply that he will keep me on the back burner.

The fact that a man will not end their relationship first in order to be with you signifies that you unfortunately have officially turned into his backup. Kasi if he really loves you truly, he will give you a decent beginning. 

Naiisip ko ang mga nasaksihan ko noong bata pa ako. Matagal na tinago ng tatay ko ang kaniyang pagtataksil nagawa niya nga na magmahal ng dalawang babae ng sabay sa loob ng ilang taon.

Kaya paano ko ba mapapaniwalaan ang bawat salitang sasabihin ni Deuce sa akin ngayon. Paulit ulit lang ang tumatakbo sa utak ko ngayon.

"It's payback time. You promised to attend the party, Av, and I suppose you forgot how amazing the club looked after spending the last two weeks in your bedroom. I'll order a ton of food for you to eat at our table, including pizza, chicken, and anything else you want." Nasa pintuan na nakatunganga si Dinara at walang balak na umalis hangga't hindi nakikita na nag aayos na ako at nagbihis.