On His Roster (Aviación #1) Completed

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Silence

I have no idea what he went through when we were searching for him during those hours that he went missing. How far he would go to fight the deep sea and the waves in order to live. When we spotted him, he was encircling the young girl in his arms. Did he have to stay afloat for them, and did he truly struggle to save the drowning girl?

It's obviously wrecked his birthday. We came here to celebrate him but notice what happened instead.

I thought that there was still hope for us. I know that he wasn't in the best shape when he said it but I still could convince him to understand my side, hindi ako susuko.  

Malamig ang trato niya para bang hindi siya interesado. Pumasok siya sa cabin and instantly we are both struck by how quiet it was.

He slept on his side of the bed and didn't give a damn if I could sleep or not. 

Deuce feels distant and indifferent.

Dati naman bago matulog we would talk about random topics. He wouldn't go to sleep without me by his side and would wait for me to come out of the bathroom after I finished my nightly ritual. But now that he's asleep on the bed and hasn't waited for me. It's breaking me.

We don't say anything till the plane takes off again for Dubai. I seem to be an invisible ghost that he cannot see. It seems like a waste of time to interact with me and pay me attention during the day. Like his time is so expensive and i can't afford it.

The silence in the upcoming days and weeks is dreadful. My friends carry on with their lives as if the Maldives never happened, and I am left here alone in the terrible silence that follows. I never heard from him, and he never spoke to me. It's like everyone has already moved on while i am here left alone, still on this page.

Does separation feel like this? Total silence? Waking up early to get ready for work and returning home for a rest is a never-ending routine. Since my friends are preoccupied with their own life, I'm left alone in this place, stuck in silence.

Umiiyak pa rin ako gabi gabi. I spend my days rotting in my apartment, crying uncontrollably until I find out that I fell asleep only to woke up feeling depressed.

Ayaw niya na ba talaga sa akin?

Ilang araw na akong nakatitig sa aking phone like there would be a miracle and I'll get a message from him, but weeks have passed and still nothing. He has stopped sending texts and making brief phone calls to provide updates on his layovers.

We are never rostered together. I had hoped to work out a schedule with him, but these past few weeks, for whatever reason, I haven't been rostered with him.

Nakita ko ang kaniyang susi sa loob ng aking bag. Hindi ko mapigilan ang tumitig napapaisip na ako na nababaliw na nga ako. I've been itching to visit his place as of lately. It's the third week of February, and I really want to see him. He's someone I miss, and I want to talk to.

Hindi ko nga lang sigurado if he still wants to see my face after everything. 

I'm wondering if I can still go there without worrying about upsetting him. Okay lang na makita siya even though we're no longer fucking together.

I'm still confused by his choice to end our relationship in this way. 

Gusto ko siyang makausap at gusto kong magpaliwanag sa kaniya ng maayos. 

I asked Nathan about him, but my friends were unaware of him and his whereabouts. Wala silang alam sa kung anong nangyayari sa buhay niya ngayon.

Can i at least see him?