Smoke Me Love || Harry Styles

chapter 31

It did mess her up, way more than she ever expected it to. All she could do for days was repeat every single word Harry had said to her when they were stood on that parking lot, and she couldn't get the image of him on his knees in front of her out of her mind.

She didn't even know how to feel about it; one minute she was angry, smashing up her room. The next minute she was crying, feeling her chest ache because she just wanted him to be there and everything to be okay again.

She didn't go outside for days, scared to run into him, but when she finally went out, it was to go to therapy.

"Have you thought about calling him or texting him in the past few days?"

Her therapist, Sarah, was still as patient with Liv when it came to her talking about Harry as she was when Liv first mentioned him. Liv was convinced Sarah was tired of hearing about him, but she just didn't have the heart to tell Liv.

"I have," Liv nodded, sniffling a little as she had just stopped crying. "But I didn't do it."

Sarah hummed and frowned a little as she seemed to think for a moment.

"Don't you think that's what he wants?" she then asked, after a few seconds of silence between them.

Liv remained silent for a moment, trying to understand Sarah's question, but then frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"You said he went on his knees in front of you, begging you for forgiveness. Don't you think he just lied about wanting to ask you to be his girlfriend? Just to make you feel bad for him?"

Liv just looked at Sarah who leaned back in her office chair, playing with the pen in her hands. The frown on Liv's face only got deeper.

"Why would he do that? Why would he lie about it?"

Sarah shrugged, leaning forward again. "He knows he fucked up, bad. He also knows you have feelings for him. It's easy for him to take advantage of that just to get what he wants."

Liv didn't say anything. She just stared at her therapist while trying to make sense of her words.

Harry wouldn't lie about it, right? He wouldn't manipulate her like that.

Would he?

Sarah visibly noticed the confusion on Liv's face, so she continued explaining herself a little more.

"I just think it's weird how fast he switched up," she said. "If he really felt as much for you as you do for him, he would've told you that, back at the police station. When you told him you love him. But he didn't. He didn't know what to say, and he only really cared about losing his job, didn't he?"

Slowly, Sarah's words started to make sense, and it immediately knocked Liv sick. She didn't want Sarah to be right, but the more she repeated the words in her mind, the more she believed it.

"So you think he made all of it up?" Liv quietly asked, swallowing away the lump in her throat as she still tried to ignore the sickening feeling in her stomach.

"I don't know for sure, of course," Sarah told her. "But there is a good chance. I don't trust him to be honest, Liv. I've seen how much he has played with your feelings over the past few weeks."

Liv just nodded, rubbing her eyes roughly to stop tears from running down her face again. Sarah just smiled kindly at her before sighing softly and turning back to her computer.

"We're five minutes over time already. I hate to do this, but-"

"No, it's fine," Liv quickly said, grabbing her coat to put it on. She wanted to be out of there anyway; she needed some fresh air.