Past Versus Present

Chapter Thirty-four

Four days na yung immersion namin, at four days na ding hindi nagpaparamdam si Youngmin. Masaya kasama yung mga bata kase natututo sila samin at the same time, natututo din kami sakanila. Totoo nga na para silang wala silang problema kase their smiles are all real. Di kakakitaan ng ano mang pretentions. Unlike me.

I should be happy right? Kasama ko si Jeongmin. Yung taong mahal ko. Masaya akong kasama siya. Masaya pero bakit.. kulang. Pakiramdam ko may kulang. Hindi kagaya ni Youngmin na... Isang beses niya lang ako mapasaya, then buong araw na ko masaya. I shouldn't be comparing, but I can't help it.

Tinry ko na gawing all-Jeongmin-no-Youngmin tong week na to. I tried keeping my phone away from me, but at the end of the day, I will find it back to see the he didn't even bothered to text a single message. Even a blank one. Ayokong aminin pero, bakit sobrang sakit? Di ba dapat di ako nasasaktan kasi I chose this. I chose to ignore him to deal with JM. Pero bakit ang sakit nung backfire? I keep on calling him but his phone is always unattended. Akala ko he's going to play fair? Akala ko di niya hahayaang manalo si Jeongmin. Pero bakit parang binigyan niya ko ng space para makabalik kay JM? Bakit parang ganun lang kadali na iignore niya ko? Bakit ako nasasaktan kahit ako naman yung may kasalanan? Bakit.. Bakit parang mas masakit to kesa nung iniwan ako ni Jeongmin.

Ang sakit to the point na nawawalan ako ng gana sa mga bagay dahil halos lahat ng ginagawa ko, naalala ko siya. I'm so helpless. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko kasi hindi ko alam kung nago-OA lang ba ako at babalik din si Youngmin o talagang he already have given up because he thought that I've already chosen JM.

Baka nga nago-OA lang ako.

Nago-OA? E apat na araw nang hindi nagpaparamdam? Ni hindi mo mahagilap sa school. Ni hindi nag-abalang dumalaw sa bahay niyo. If that's what OA means, then it is.

"Ate oh, para sayo." sabi nung isang batang tinuturuan ko sabay abot ng rose sakin.

Iba't ibang bata na yung nagsimulang magbigay sakin ng rose. Hanggang sa yung tingin kong pinakahuli e, dinala naman na ko sa garden. Sa garden na walang tao.

Nagulat ako nung may biglang tumugtog. Paglingon ko, nakapila yung mga kaklase ko--- sa di ko malamang dahilan.

*Oh, oh-oh-oh, oooh
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oooh
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oooh

Come feel my heart
It's beating like a drum and I confess
When you're around
It's like an army's marching through my chest*

Kanta nung kaklase kong nasa unahan ng pila. More of like, lipsynch pala.

*And there's nothing I can do
I just gravitate towards you
You're pulling on me like the moon
I just wanna get you sideways*

Kanta nung pangalawa sa pila.

*I say anything I can to get me more than just a dance
Tell me where to put my hands
You know that you could be my favorite one-night stand*

Kanta nung pangatlo sa pila. Ano ba to? Pila ng kumakanta?

*You get me higher*

Kanta nung partner ni Sei. Ano ngang pangalan non? Ah, si Jeongdae! Infairness galing bumirit a. Ayy lipsynch nga pala sila. XD

* What would you do if I told you that I la, la, la, la, loved you?
Do if I said it tonight?
What would you do if I told you that I la, la, la, la, loved you?
Cause you know I la, la, la, lie*

Kanta naman ni Leslie. Ano ba kelan ba matatapos tong pila na to? At ang tanong, sino ang nasa dulo?

*You're like a song
A beautiful symphony to my eyes
So take me on
I wanna sing along all through the night*

Nage-enjoy ako habang pinapanuod maglipsynch yung mga kaklase ko. Saka ko lang napansin na pinapanood na kami, or sila, ng mga bata saka mga caretakers ng orphanage.

*I'm not like the other boys
Cause with you I've got no choice
You make me wanna lose my voice
I just wanna get you sideways*

Ayan na, malapit na yung dulo. Teka, parang siya ata yung kumakanta? Ahhhh, gets ko na. Siya yung kumakanta, mga kaklase ko naglilipsynch. Boploks.

*No, I'm not the type to lie
But I might just start tonight
Let me turn off all these lights
You know that you could be my favourite lullaby
You get me higher*

Ayan na dalawa na lang.

*What would you do if I told you that I la, la, la, la, loved you?
Do If I said it tonight?
What would you do if I told you that I la, la, la, la, loved you?
Cause you know I la, la, la, lie*

Yan, isa nalang.

*Like a symphony
Like a symphony
Like a symphony tonight
Like a symphony
Like a symphony
Like a symphony tonight
Sounds like a symphony
Like a symphony
Like a symphony tonight*

Tapos umalis na yung last kong kaklase. Nakatalikod naman yung kumakanta na alam ko naman na kung sino.

*Like a symphony
Like a symphony
Like a symphony tonight*

Tapos humarap siya. Si Jeongmin pala. Disappointed? Hindi. Masaya naman ako. Though, may isang tao lang siguro kong ineexpect na.. Hayyys.

Habang kumakanta lumalapit sakin si JM, na may dalang tatlong pirasong roses.

*What would you do if I told you that I la, la, la, la, loved you?
Do If I said it tonight?
What would you do if I told you that I la, la, la, la, loved you?
Cause you know I la, la, la, la, la, oooh

What would you do if I told you that I la, la, la, la, loved you?
Do if I said it tonight?
What would you do if I told you that I la, la, la, la, loved you?
Cause you know I la, la, la, lie*

"I love you." sabi niya then inabot niya sakin yung roses.

Niyakap ko naman siya to hide my face. Narinig ko namang nag-ayiie yung mga bata, at nagpalakpakan naman yung iba. I'm not blushing. Kaya ko tinago yung mukha ko kase ayokong makita ni Jeongmin na may hint ng disappointment sa mukha ko. Masaya ako. Yes, I am really happy. Pero may tao siguro talaga na kaya akong pasayahin, kung saan masasabi kong masayang masayang masaya ako.

Unfornately, I think that person had already given up on me.