𝗟𝗘𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝟮 𝗠𝗬 𝗨𝗡𝗕𝗢𝗥𝗡 ━━━━━ 𝘁𝘂𝗽𝗮𝗰 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗸𝘂𝗿.

067.

' TUE , JULY 2ND 1996. '
snoop dogg's residence ⸻
los angeles , california !

     THE SUMMER SHINES DOWN on the sprawling backyard of Snoop Dogg's house, where the scent of freshly cut grass mixes with the sweet aroma of barbecue. It's a perfect day, the kind that almost makes you forget about the weight of the world outside. As I step out onto the patio, I can hear the sound of laughter and squeals from the kids already running around, and I can't help but smile. Today is the first playdate for Zahir, and I'm grateful for the distraction.

Snoop's wife, Shante, waves at me from across the yard, a welcoming smile on her face. She's holding their son, Corde, who is just shy of two years old. He's trying to squirm out of her arms, clearly eager to join in the fun. I'm holding Zahir, who's a year old now, and while he can't exactly play basketball yet, he's just as excited by all the action.

"Hey, girl!" Shante calls out, making her way over to me. She's wearing a casual tank top and shorts, her hair pulled back in a sleek high bun. There's an ease about her that makes me feel comfortable right away, like we've known each other forever.

"Hey, Shante!" I greet her, adjusting Zahir in my arms as he wriggles, clearly interested in the ball Snoop is bouncing on the court. "Looks like they already having a good time."

"Yeah, Corde's been excited about this all week," Shante says with a laugh, finally letting him down. He toddles over to where his father is, his little legs moving as fast as they can. "And it looks like Zahir is ready to join in."

I nod, feeling a warmth in my chest as I watch Zahir's eyes light up. "He's been looking forward to it too. I think he likes seeing other kids his age. You know, someone who's not just me or his dad."

Shante smiles, understanding in her eyes. "It's important for them to socialize. And for us moms to get out of the house and talk to another adult every once in a while."

We both laugh at that, the shared experience of motherhood bonding us instantly. We make our way over to a set of chairs near the edge of the yard, where we can keep an eye on the kids as they explore the backyard. Snoop is there too, tossing the ball gently around, while keeping an eye on the younger ones. It's a picture-perfect scene, one that almost makes me forget the turmoil that's been swirling in my mind lately.

Snoop glances over and gives us a nod, a grin on his face. "Ladies, what can I get y'all to drink? We got everything—lemonade, iced tea, or something a little stronger if you in the mood." I chuckle, shaking my head. "Lemonade sounds perfect, thanks."

"Same for me," Shante adds, settling into her chair as she watches Corde and Zahir interact with each other. "You know, I'm really glad you could make it today . . It's nice to have someone to talk to who understands all the craziness that comes with having little ones."

I smile at her, feeling a sense of camaraderie. "I'm glad too . . It's been a minute since I've had a chance to just relax and not think about everything else going on." Shante raises an eyebrow, a knowing look in her eyes. "Everything else, huh? That sounds like a lot. You wanna talk about it?"

I hesitate for a moment, but there's something about Shante that makes me feel like I can be honest with her. Plus, it's been a while since I've had someone to confide in, someone who isn't wrapped up in the same world as me and Tupac.

"It's just . . you know how life gets complicated sometimes?" I begin, glancing over at Zahir, who's now giggling as he tries to mimic Corde's attempts at dribbling the ball. "Nothing much just relationship issues, co-parenting and everything."

Shante nods slowly, her expression sympathetic. "That's tough. But I mean you young, you've got time to figure things out." I sigh, feeling a pang of guilt despite her understanding. "Yeah, you right. Young and dunb."

Shante reaches out, placing a hand on my arm. "Being young is a good thing . . just means you see everything differently." Her words are comforting, and I nod, feeling a little bit of the weight lift off my shoulders.   

"Thanks, Shante. I guess I just needed to hear that." She gives me a reassuring smile. "Anytime. You got my number now." "

Before I can respond, Snoop comes back with our drinks, handing each of us a glass of lemonade—It definitely seemed to just be drinks he poured into cups from the fridge. "Here you go, ladies. See I should be a bartender a waiter or some shit . . I've got things going on."

"Thanks, Snoop," I say after laughing a little bit at his sense of humor, taking a sip of the cool, refreshing drink. It's exactly what I needed on this hot day.

"No problem," he replies, his eyes crinkling with a smile as he watches the kids. "Looks like Zahir and Corde are already best friends . . That's cool wish Pac was here to see this."

I glance over at the boys, who are now sitting on the grass, playing with a toy truck. It warms my heart to see Zahir so happy, especially after everything that's been going on. "Yeah, it's nice to see them getting along so well. I think Zahir needed this."

"Kids always know how to find joy in the little things," Shante says, leaning back in her chair. "Sometimes I think we could learn a lot from them."

I nod in agreement, watching as Corde hands the truck to Zahir, who claps his hands in delight. It's a simple moment, but it's one that reminds me of what really matters.

As the afternoon goes on, the conversation flows easily between Shante and me. We talk about everything from motherhood to music, and I find myself relaxing more and more with each passing minute. Snoop occasionally joins in, making us laugh with his stories and keeping the mood light. It's exactly what I needed—a day where I can just be myself, away from the drama and the stress of my love life.

But even as I enjoy the day, there's still a part of me that can't stop thinking about Kairo, about the way I hurt him, and about the complicated feelings I still have for Tupac. Being here, in this peaceful, happy place, makes it easier to push those thoughts aside, but I know they'll come rushing back as soon as I'm alone again.

For now, though, I'm content to let the day unfold, to enjoy the laughter of the kids and the warmth of the sun. Zahir is having the time of his life, and I'm grateful for this moment of peace, even if it's just temporary.

Later, as the sun begins to set and the kids start to tire out, Shante and I gather our things and start to head inside. Zahir is clinging to my leg, his eyes drooping with exhaustion, but he's still smiling, and I know he's had a good day.

"Thanks for coming over," Shante says as we reach the door. "We'll have to do this again soon . . Maybe one time when Tupac ain't busy you could come over with him."

"Definitely," I agree, shifting Zahir in my arms. "This was just what I needed."

We say our goodbyes, and as I strap Zahir into his car seat, I take a deep breath, letting the day's events wash over me. It's been a good day, but now it's time to face the reality of my situation again.

As I drive home, the sky turning a soft shade of pink as the sun dips below the horizon, I can't help but feel a sense of unease creeping back in. The playdate was a perfect distraction, but I know I can't hide from my feelings forever. There's still so much to figure out—about Kairo, about Tupac, and about what I really want for myself and for Zahir.

But for now, I focus on the road ahead, on the peaceful expression on Zahir's face as he dozes off in the backseat, and on the hope that maybe, just maybe, things will start to make more sense in time.