Sometimes I just have the urge or deep longing to sit in silence with like my best friend because I like simultaneously feel really lonely and also like really missing her because we don't go to the same school or anything and it's like I really wanna do something with her but I don't know what or what to talk about but I just really wanna be with her so like I have a deep longing to just sit in silence with her.
And like sometimes I really just wanna text her like a 5 paragraph essay about how much I love her and stuff but like if I do that it might freak her out- like if I just text her a heartfelt, deep, emotional, text out of the blue it would be weird and probably jarring.
But like boyfriend/girlfriend/romantic relationships send an I love you all the time don't they? Like they do it so casually. But if I text my best friend and I love you it's like "Omg what's wrong?" Ya know.
Like I just wanna tell her I love her but I don't wanna scare her 😭
Like sometimes I'm afraid I don't actually love my friends and I just love them in hopes they love me back because I wanna be loved and so I'm only all sweet and emotional because I want them to think that I'm sweet and emotional but I'm not actually sweet and emotional- ya know? I feel like I worded that so confusingly but the point is, sometimes I feel like I don't actually love my friends and I just want them to love me. But then I get in moods like I am today and it's like no I actually love my friends so much I'm in tears and literally just wanna be in their presence even if we no absolutely nothing.
I think platonic love like that is honestly so beautiful and I feel like most people, most allos I should say, don't understand you can have that kinda deep love and feel all those things and have it be platonic or familial or anything other than romantic.
I truly believe all love is infinite like that which is why I'm starting to understand why it can be hard for people to understand love or the difference of the kinds of love because infinity is such a wild concept.
But all lives are truly infinitely deep I believe. In one way or another.
Anyways that's all I have to say for now, thanks so much for listening and I'll catch ya on the next one. Take care, best wishes 💚💜
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Aroace thoughts/rants, poems more
RandomJust an aro ace girl with a lot of emotions. Too many emotions apparently because this is the second one I had to make, the first ones full lol. I write short stories and poems, Rants, Talk about aroace coded songs or really anything, movies, shows...
