Aroace thoughts/rants, poems more

Mixed feelings

I genuinely hate having mixed feelings. I used to think mixed feelings were like "in different" or "kinda neutral" but I've been feeling "I love it and I hate it at the same time" too much and too real. Like I actually love something and hate something at the exact same time instead of like going back and forth.

Todays love/hate topic is more so a agree/disagree situation I think. Like- i agree but also disagree. Today were talking about when an entire fandom ships two characters of the same gender together it the writers never make them gay/get together and then people call it queer baiting or homophobic.

While I think it's good to have representation- it gets frustrating because people can't have a deep and or emotional connection anymore because no matter what it's gonna be romantic unless it's a gay guy with a gay girl or just one of them is gay but it's still opposite gender. Because even if it's one gay person and one straight person, if they're the same gender they're gonna head canon the other as bi.

Like- I kinda get their point but also deep friendships still exist.

Like part of me is kinda mad at my past self for shipping Reggie and Luke bc I loved their friendship so much (there was also the "that was pretty hot" scene which is like the whole backbone of why people ship them, so that definitely played into me shipping them) but now I'm like I love their friendship a lot more than if it would be romantic and also I hate that I loved it because it like supersets the trio, Luke Reggie and Alex are a duo and I hate when people make them into duos and one gets left out. Not important. No more talking about the ghost show. Moving on. 

I just have mixed feelings when I see people calling the writers homophobic for not making the two same gender best friends fall in love. But it really comes down to the fact our culture is so romanized, that's what everyone is gonna want first. That's what they're gonna want the main relationships type to be even if it means sacrificing a friendship. And it's times like these were I know it just is about difference of preference and who the person is, and I don't know if I wish their were more friendship lovers or I was a romance understander.

Either way- I feel like it wouldn't work out for me anyways. I have a deep rooted disconnect with romance and when I try to understand it or like it I feel like I'm betraying the characters and friendships I love and care about. But if friendship becomes the most popular thing, I'm afraid my I guess stubbornness or whatever it is will kick in and I'll wanna go the opposite way because I don't wanna feel told what to like by whatever is most popular or something. Idk I don't understand myself with that. There's a lower chance of me doing that since I already have a strong passion for friendship before it would get big and popular but you never know.

Anyways that's enough rambling for one night, I don't have anything else to say. Thanks so much for listening, I hope you all have a beautiful day/night. Best wishes, and take care 💚💜