Aroace thoughts/rants, poems more

Fear

So there's this friend I've made, she was so supportive to me across all platforms and even though I was mostly done with the fandom at that point, I decided to read her fanfic because she was so sweet and supportive to my edits and stories and stuff so I started reading hers and she has such beautiful writing that I didn't even mind reading it when I was supposed to be done with the fandom. She just announced her second book to her fanfic tho, and it's called "more than friends"

So already. The title screams "Baylee no, you won't like this" but also based off her first fanfic, it's most likely gonna be a romance between her OC and my favorite head canoned aro character. And all I think about is that title "more than friends" and think he'd would never. Because like do you see how he loves his friends. More than friends? What is this more?

And I don't wanna be rude and tell her I don't wanna read it. I like - I can't do that. But like, I can't read it. But I have to because she greatly appreciates the support and stuff and I'm scared if I don't read her book she'll be mad and think I'm fake but with a title like "more than friends" I'm not even sure I wanna read the rest for fanfic one when it comes out.

I'm scared. I hope she's not reading this I don't think she reads these, if she does she doesn't vote or comment and normally she does those things so she most likely won't be reading this.

I'm just scared though. Scared to read it. Scared to not read it. I'm just scared.

I genuinely hate the phrase more than friends and a part of me hates people who use it but literally everyone uses it and it's probably something people don't think about so it's not like I can be that mad at people for using it but I'm mad at society for creating it.

The only time I use that phrase now is like "not friends but family" or like deeper than friendship but it's still not romantic it's like deep deep platonic love on a soul level like platonic soulmates.

I don't know. I'm confused again. But what I do know is I hate "more than friends" when it describes romance. Like. Ew is all I have to say right now. Not ew like gross but ew it makes me uncomfortable.

Okay. That's all I have to say right now so thanks so much for listening. I hope you all have a fantastic day or night. Best wishes, take care 💚💜

Edit: I was wrong. It's not a sequel to her fanfic for the show I thought it was. It's for her Twilight fanfic which I hold no attachment to so I can just read it and be fine. Still don't like the phrase more than friends but I hold no emotional attachment to the characters involved like the way I hold emotional attachment to the character I thought was involved. Still scared. Just a lot less scared now.