Aroace thoughts/rants, poems more

Understanding

I have a lot to unpack in my brain lol 😭

So I'm gonna start by saying I see what this girl was trying to say and I agree in a sense but I also really just disagree.

I'm pretty sure she's asexual I thought I saw an ace flag but I'm not sure about aro and she said allo people understand what we feel or rather what we don't feel because they have people in their life who they aren't sexually or romantically attracted to so they can just understand we feel that way about everyone.
And like that sounds like it should make sense. But it just doesn't to me 😭

Like I think everyone experiences being ace or aro differently, like grey aro and aces only feel it sometimes, Demis only feel it after an emotional bond is formed. And me personally my whole thing with allos not understanding what it's like to be aro or ace is how romance just isn't everything and it doesn't need to be everything. Like, there's romance and sex favored aros and aces but I'm not one of them and I experience romance very differently than an allo person or even an aro who's romance favored. And that's the part that I'm constantly feeling like allos don't understand.

And also, aplatonic people exist. I don't feel platonic love for everyone I meet or come across. There's familial love and there's some people I don't even like. But I'm not aplatonic and I can't just think about the people I don't feel platonic attraction too and automatically understand aplatonic people.

So why would I assume allos understand me just because they aren't romantically or sexually attracted to everyone. You know? I don't know if I'm making sense.

Also, another thing that kinda bothered me is the girl in the video said we feel nothing. I don't feel nothing. Maybe I misunderstood her or something. I think maybe she meant like when someone randomly asks you out you don't feel attracted to them you feel nothing but some allos feel attracted to strangers or feel nothing to strangers.

I don't know. It was a weird video. Made me feel weird.

But yeah, like it made me start thinking well, I don't understand aplatonic people just because I don't always feel platonic love for everyone. Like to me I find it so weird people just don't feel platonic love for a single person but that's them and that's their life and I only start to understand the a little when I'm like, oh this must be how some allos think about being aro. But it's not like I can I understand them, I feel like that's a little , idk invalidating? Like "oh well you feel platonic attraction for no one and there's a few people I don't feel it for either so we're like the same! I totally understand you." Like I don't fully understand because I don't have that experience. I understand them enough to know they're perfectly valid in their experience.  it's almsot like that scene in trolls where branch is like "singing killed my grandma!" And the other troll goes "my uncle broke his neck nap dancing once" like it doesn't really compare and it's the same with allos and aros/aces.

I don't know if any of what I'm saying makes sense it's 3 am I should be asleep. But basically I feel like just because allos don't feel romantically/sexually attracted to everyone doesn't mean they understand aros/aces just like I don't understand aplatonics just bc I don't feel platonic attraction for everyone. It's like there's a difference between knowing 2+2 is 4 and actually putting 2 and 2 together to get to that conclusion or the difference between sympathy and empathy. Empathy is like you understand them because you feel what they feel, sympathy is more like you don't feel what they're feeling but you know what they feel. I think. I'm bad at explaining.

Anyways. I'm just gonna end this and go to sleep. So thanks so much for listening I hope you all have a wonderful day/night. Take care 💚💜