Aroace thoughts/rants, poems more

Im just shy

I'm sorta gonna talk about my book again, but like more so just talking about writing in general. I feel like the whole "I don't want my family to read my book" or thing as a very sexual connotation. And what I mean by that is people don't want their family, like parents and grandparents to read the smut they write.

Like, someone could say "when my parents ask to read my book and I'm like "🫣 no" some or even most people might assume it's because there's sex scenes.

And I have posted a few videos about not wanting my family to read my book.  But not because it's sexual! It's not even romantic. The most romantic thing that happens is Reggie seeing Zac hold Noah's hand and rub it to comfort him and he thinks that it's sweet and he's happy that Noah found someone who knows him well enough to comfort him like that. I don't want my family to read it because I'm shy. And it feels like I'm on trail. And it feels like they're reading my diary.

And I don't want my grandma to read it because there's lgbtqia rep and a scene where a character says he doesn't believe in god and his thought process is if there was a god, he wouldn't have lost his best friend, brother, mom, and his husband wouldn't be a jerk. And I know my grandma is gonna read into that and think I don't believe in god/don't like god because my mom died. She already thinks that's true, she reads that she's gonna think it even more.She's gonna think all my characters pain is my pain. And in a way it is but that's also none of her business 😭

But like the main point of me talking about this is, if I say I don't want my family to read my book I have to provide more context so people don't automatically assume it's bc of sex in the book. I just think that society especially the internet and TikTok (the book side of TikTok especially) is getting sexualized and I'm not trying to sex shame people, but there's almost a whole debate now on booktok where some people think it's getting way too sexual and it's kinda scary and concerning and other people are like no it's not or stop sex shaming women or no one is reading a whole books that's smut on every page calm down. And it's like sure, but some of the things I've seen I wish I could unsee because I know I'm aroace and I don't see how things are sexual or romantic anyways, some of these things I feel like belong in a horror novel not a romance novel.

I don't know.  But the point is I don't want my family to read my book because I'm shy and scared of judgement, not because there's sex scenes in my book.

Thank you so much for listening, I hope you all have a wonderful day/night. Wishing you the best, take care 💚💜