The Enki

Chapter 57

I was vaguely aware that the sun was rising and also that I hadn't moved from the spot that I had been stabbed. Where Magnus had been murdered. Every time I visualised it, I felt all the emotions again. Christophe had sat next to me, doing and saying nothing. We both watched as the sun rose, and tears dripped down my cheeks. My mother and my father had at some point joined us to see what had happened, but Christophe whispered something, and they both left without hesitation. It only now occurred to me that despite my powers, I hadn't been able to hear. In fact, I never felt anything apart from very real human grief. I tried to pull my energy together, but nothing happened. Christophe, seeing my movements, tried to reach out, but I moved away from him.

"My powers are gone."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't feel my energy anymore."

Christophe reached out to touch my arm, and I let him. He looked puzzled as his hand moved up and down, searching for something.

"I can't pull or push energy into you. It's as if you are... human."

I reach to my chest where the ceremonial dagger had pierced my heart. There wasn't blood or a scar, but it had killed something. It had killed the Enki side of me. A fresh round of grief waved over me, and I willed the emotions to disapate, but I couldn't control them. There had been times when I had wished that I was not Enki, that I'd rather be human. Now that my powers had gone, I felt emptied. The pull that I had felt with Christophe was gone. I didn't have the energy or emotion to explore how I felt about him. Grief robbed me of everything.

I would never have said that I loved Magnus, and yet as I drove my fingers into the earth where he had fallen, I could not relieve myself of the loss of him. I had felt a lot of heartbreak but nothing this intense. Now, in this moment, I did not know if I would ever get over it. Before the attack, Christophe would have felt my grief, but he just stared blankly at me, so unsure and in the dark.

"Rose. Talk to me."

I look at him with tears in my eyes. He pulled me into his arms, and I wanted to push him away, but there was the human part of me that needed comfort.

"Are you upset that you have lost your powers? It doesn't change anything for me, Rose. I will always love and care for you."

I didn't have the heart to tell him that it wasn't that which hurt me. Maybe it was my marriage bond, cruelly broken, that had broken me, or could it be that in some way I had loved Magnus.

"What do you think about going inside? Im not sure how safe we are out here, "

I wasn't sure why, but Christophe acting so protectively irritated me. Maybe it was my emotions, or maybe it was knowing that he was stronger than me. I no longer held power over anyone. I no longer had the mother in me. I stood up without his support and walked back into Hornwood, leaving him to walk behind me.

Once inside, my mother and father looked at me cautiously. They weren't sure what had happened, and the last time they saw me, I had almost attacked my mother. I couldn't stand to see their faces, so I made my way out of the room, but Christophe stopped me.

"Rose, I know you are upset, but we have to discuss what we are going to do."

Instinctively, I pulled for my power, ready to push him away. Of course, nothing came. As a human, I would need to stay. Christophe held my hand and pulled me onto one of the antique couches. My stomach sank. Remembering my first kiss with Magnus.

"We were attacked. Some unknown power, perhaps stronger than Enki. Magnus... he was stabbed by the ceremonial dagger, by this thing, and died."

I could see shock pass over my mother's face.

"But it's not possible. An Enki can only die..."

"By their own hand. Yes, we know, but this man stabbed and killed him."

"Are you sure Magnus didn't touch the blade prior. Perhaps even touching the dagger works even if not administered by him."

I look up at my mother. Anger coming from inside me.

"He was hundreds of years old. Do you really think he would be that stupid? He was stabbed in the back. His arms held a bolder."

"Perhaps during the fight you missed something?"

I got angier, a welcome emotional break from the pain of loss.

"I never missed anything. I wish I could have. I wish that these embedded memories could somehow be erased from my mind."

Christophe held my hand, but I sharply pulled it away.

"She is upset. The man also stabbed her, and now her powers are gone. The mother is gone."

"Do not speak as if I am not here, Christophe. Yes, my powers are gone. Doesn't mean you can treat me like some weakling!"

I stand preparing to walk off.

"Rose. You don't have to worry about your powers. You are still one of us."

I open my mouth to scream at him that he knows nothing of how I feel, but my mother is beside me in an instant her hand gently touches my back.

"I think Tapeqh needs her space."

I look into her eyes, and I can tell that she knows that I am not upset about losing my powers. Christophe stands up to escort me to my room, but my mother puts a hand out to stop him. They exchange something, and I can see something pass across Christophe's face. What it was I didn't know. I could no longer read him. My mother moved me to the door, and up to my room.

A tender moment occurs that often I had wished for when I was younger and longed for a mother's care. She leads me to my bed and pulls the duvet over me. She gentle strokes my face as tears fall softly onto my cheeks.

"It's okay Tapeqh. You do not need to say anything. I know what you feel and it's okay. Let those tears out."

I sob as she holds me to her.

"Mother. I don't know how I will ever feel better."

She pats my head.

"It will take time."

"I'm so confused."

"It's okay Tapeqh. You do not need to search for answers now. Now you need to rest and recover. It will get easier."

"The pain. It hurts so much."

"I know. You need to sleep."

"But the man. He could come back. He could kill us all."

"We will be prepared. This isn't anything we can not handle between Christophe and myself."

I could no longer tell if she was telling the truth or not. So I stopped fighting and let sleep take me.