The Enki

Chapter 44

I have always been fascinated watching people dance and the delicate ways in which they barely touch but still power flows between them.

My existence with Christophe and Magnus looks and feels very similar. We dance together, not quite making contact, but still connected in a beautiful and weird way.

I can not be one way with one without the other feeling it, which makes being romantic with Christophe impossible. I kiss him, and Magnus feels it, an inner alert to interrupt and annoy.

So instead, I spend time with my mother reading through some old diaries of Christophe's maker Jean Luc's. By far, he has the most in-depth collection of the history of our race, and I wonder how old he must have been.

We are looking for any way to sever the connection that I have with Magnus. I know that Magnus knows I am actively trying to metaphorically divorce him, but he just smiles confidently, believing that it is not possible. Perhaps not. But I had to at least try. I couldn't live the centuries attached to two Enki like this. It was becoming more and more confusing every day.

No one seems to worry about Tharn. It is almost as if he no longer poses a threat. As I think about him, something pops into my head. How could my mother break her connection with Tharn enough to have avoided him for years. They were sealed. Distance makes the connection weaker, sure, but it doesn't go completely. I look at my mother:

"How did you manage to break free from Tharn?"

"I'm not sure. It was as if I thought it, and it was. Like the night I escaped, everything just seemed to work. I escaped, which was impossible, yet here I am. The mother was with me, I'm sure of it...."

My mother looks intently at me.

"You have the mother in you."

I start to deny it, but then I think back to my own escape. Something was with me then.

"How would I know?"

"You don't, but she has demonstrated her power through you."

"So what? Do you think I can somehow disconnect my own sealing? I can sever the link if I access that part of me, that is her?"

"Potentially. Though it is dangerous. You are not in control when you allow her to take over. She may not do what you want her to do. You know what her purpose is Taqeph".

My mother cannot say out loud the truth, for if Magnus was to hear, them he would lock me up and throw away the key.

It was true that when the mother took over, I was not in control. I can feel her hatred of her own children. Given the opportunity, she would kill all Enki in close proximity. But what if I could stop her? I had before, twice, and I focused her away. There were a lot of variables in place that could either lead to happiness or destruction. Which would I choose?

I would enjoy losing the connection, but then would it mean that Christophe, my mother, even Magnus, would be killed in the process? There was still something in me that was very much human and not willing to sacrifice anyone, even Enki.

I pick up another of Jean Luc's diaries willing this one to hold all the answers, but instead, it is his memories of the second world war. Interestingly enough, the Enki never involved themselves in the war, well, at least, the ones that Jean Luc had encountered. It seems to be a rule that we do not kill humans, but instead to live in harmony. He writes at one point that to kill a human would draw too much suspicion. There have been instances that we were "discovered," but it was covered up by some human assumption. He doesn't go into detail, but I was curious. Not enough to wade through thousands more diaries. I need answers now.

I feel a pull and know that Christophe has returned from patrolling the Hornwood Estate. I can feel the bones and muscles in his body manipulate as he reverts back to his Enki form from Eagle. There was no pain, just some discomfort, a chemical reaction like water turning into steam.

I had been avoiding Christophe, but at the same time, he had too. He kept his thoughts very much blocked from me, and I dare not force myself into his mind. Magnus, however, was an open book allowing me to read everything, some innocent, some not so much. I had entered once and then refused since.

To my surprise, Christophe joins us in the library. Our eyes lock, and he is blocking his thoughts, but I can feel his loneliness. I want to tell him I feel the same, but he would already know. He walks towards me and takes the diary from my hands. He joins me cross-legged on the floor. He takes my hand, and it's like a flood of emotion overwhelms me. My whole body reacts to him, and I know he is holding himself back. Not hesitating I wrap my arms around him and kiss him with a need and a passion I have never felt before. Fuck Magnus.

Christophe returns my kisses with equal passion, running his hands through my hair. Finally we pull apart.

"Rose, I love you. I have wanted to do this for so long. I didn't... know.. I wasn't sure..."

My eyes plead for him to talk. We had been estranged for too long.

Magnus appears like a strike of lighting. His face like thunder. He takes in the scene, fists clenched but keeps his distance. Christophe stands and faces him.

"What do you want Magnus? If it isn't enough that you can feel us, you need to be a voyeur? Are you that pathetic?"

I grip onto Christophe's hand, gently urging him to stop. They could fight but it would hurts us all.

"She is my wife Christophe. Does that mean nothing to you? Do you deny basic Enki law?"

"You really think I care about your forced ceremony? It is nothing Magnus. Soon Rose will find a way to rid you from both of our lives. Then you will be alone and vulnerable. That is when I will take you Magnus and the long list of people that you have hurt".

My mum stands next to Christophe in support. The three of us make quite the team. If Magnus was worried he doesn't show it, in fact confidence rolls over him. I can feel Christophe doubt. Of course this makes Magnus overjoyed.

"There it is Christophe. That little seed of doubt. It is very human of you. Tell us all what it is that fills you with fear, now that we are sharing how we feel?"

Christophe tenses, I can feel his fear too.

"Magnus, you may feel what I feel, but you will never know why."

Magnus laughs.

"Let me guess then. Hmmm... could it be you fear that Rose does not love you?"

Christophe remains stoic.

"Hmm not that then. Could it be you fear you do not love her enough?"

Something passed through his eyes but he doesn't give anything away. It is taking all his power to withhold his emotions. I wasn't aware we could. Beads of sweats form on his forehead as he weakens. Magnus, if surprised doesn't show it.

"I know I am close. If its not her or your love you fear. Then it must be something else. Perhaps more simple. What could the brave Christophe fear above anything in the world".

I can feel Magnus push his way into Christophe's head. By proxy if he is successful I would hear his thoughts too. Christophe falls to his knees as he fights Magnus with all his strength. I stand in front of him.

"Magnus stop this game. Why do you want to know so bad? Leave him alone. I mean it. I am not above hurting us all to stop you".

My plea works as Magnus backs off but it is too late. Christophe's thoughts come tumbling out in a vomit of words but were crystal clear.

He feared me. The thing Christophe feared must above all things was me.