natasha romanoff x reader

therapy

you walk upstairs trying to find the counselling room until you find it, you stand outside and work up the courage to knock

"come in!" you open the door to see a woman no older than 30 sat at a desk

"hey bruce told me to come up here im a bit early"

"that's fine don't worry about it, why don't you take a seat" you nod gently and take a seat on the couch, she stands up and takes a seat on the couch opposite you

"i've been waiting for you to come and see me, my names jenna"

"you have?"

"i think that we could really work well together"

"i don't need therapy ya know"

"you sure?"

"i can handle things myself"

"young girl, taken from her home, her family and raised in a school for assassins, forced to see friends be tortured, forced to torture friends, trained within an inch of her life, injected and experimented on and forced to kill, and if i'm right that was all before the age of 13" you're taken aback from her bluntness

"look y/n if i'm going to be frank with you, you will never be able to let go of the past if you don't acknowledge that it affected you"

"i'm letting go of the past just fine"

"you're just human y/n i think any human would need therapy after just what you went through before the age of 5 let alone what you've been through just in the time you've been here"

"i'm fine"

"are you?" you feel a tear roll down your cheek

"i heard you announced your relationship with romanoff today, howd you feel about that"

"i feel great, i love nat i'm glad everyone knows"

"it was very sudden, the choice to announce it so soon after you two made it official"

"yeah so what"

"that's a lot of change"

"i love nat"

"i'm not saying you don't"

"that's what it sounds like it sounds like you're saying we are moving too fast"

"they are your words, i never said that, is that how you feel? that it's moving too fast"

"i'm glad we are official and the team knows i just guess i wish we could've stayed in our bubble a little longer"

"bubble?"

"just enjoying eachothers company without anyone's judgement"

"do you feel judged?"

"i just don't want people to hate her for being with me little girls look up to her"

"why would people hate her for that?"

"because i'm a bad person, i am not good like the rest of these guys i've done terrible things"

"i'm sure that agent romanoff doesn't feel that way, or the rest of the avengers, they wouldn't have gone through all that trouble saving you from the red room if they didn't think you were a good person"

"i guess"

"killing the people you did was all you knew, from birth that's what you were taught, you can't compare yourself to anyone because everyone's experiences are different, even romanoff, you may have shared a childhood in the same place but your experiences were very different"

"are you therapisimg me right now, i was told this would just be me sitting here as a formality"

"i'm just doing my job, we have unpacked quite a bit today, but i truly believe with a weekly session we could really get you to a place of emotional healing, if you're open to it" you look to the floor playing with the ring on your finger

"to move on you need to accept the past is a part of you, i want to help you do that y/n"

"if i come to therapy can you not tell anyone i don't want people to think that i'm weird"

"nobody would think that, not with what you have been through, but no i won't tell anybody except for banner who will see it on the records but he will keep it entirely confidential"

"okay fine whatever i'll do therapy"

"when works best for you, i have wednesdays at 3 available?"

"yeah i can do that"

"perfect, i'll see you next wednesday, if you need anything before that or inbetween sessions here is my number im contactable 24/7 don't hesitate to call if you need anything"

"okay" you smile and stand up

"it was nice meeting you y/n"

"you too" you walk out the room and head downstairs thinking about all that jenna had said you're in a dazed state and just sit on the couch in the living room 

"y/n? y/n are you okay" you feel a familiar set of hands on your shoulders

"huh?" you say snapping out of it

"are you okay sweetheart you seem really out of it?" nat comes and sits next to you on the couch putting her hands on your face and looking all over you checking for any injuries or anything to show what's wrong

"no i'm okay just say dreaming i guess" you say leaning your head and kissing her hand

"you're sure?"

"i'm positive" you lean your head on her shoulder and she just holds you

"how was everything with bruce?"

"all good, my stitches are a bit red and inflamed so he gave me some antibiotics but that's all"

"are you sure nothing else happened?"

"i'm sure, i'm just quite tired, it has been a long day"

"go for a nap"

"you're kidding did you the girl who wakes me up at the crack of dawn just tell me to nap"

"shut up, i'm just saying you seem down, if you're tired you should get some rest love" she strokes your hair kissing the top of your head

"i guess you're right"

"i just have to go for a meeting but once i'm done i'll come check on you okay"

"i'd like that" you say lifting your head and kissing her cheek"

"i'll see you in a bit sweetheart rest up" she stands up and walks away, you decide to take her advice and head upstairs, you didn't think you were that tired but as soon as your head hit the pillow you were out like a light