I've hated myself as long I can remember I hated the way I looked to my weight for a long time and still do at times..... I feel like starving myself again and not eating food.................
I know this sounds odd but I can't stand help probably because I have trust issues when it comes to certain things..... I can't stand my therapist she called me out once for liking movies from my childhood and it during a time when my anxiety was REALLY bad and whenever that happens I go back to my childhood.
And the last straw was when I told her my grandma is a kid at heart and she said "maybe you're grandma is just saying that to make you feel better" and let me tell you how bad I wanted to woop her ass for saying that I wanted to yell "how fucking dare you! Assume my grandma is not a kid at heart! You know nothing about her! And you have the guts to say that to me her granddaughter(me) and her daughter (my mom) I'm outta here!" But I didn't I couldn't bring myself to do it..... I kept my mouth shut and nodded and once me and my mom left I started SOBBING and my mom was PISSED at my therapist since my therapist did talk shit about her mother that she's known all her life!
that's when my therapist betrayed my trust and I still remember that conversation to this day and the rage I felt when she talked shit about my grandma.
