im super anxious today since there's another risk of bad weather where I live and it went from marginal to possible and im FREAKING out..... I just want summer to be over I hate it so so much it's seriously affecting my overall mental health issues like my anxiety, depression, OCD, storm anxiety, automatic negative thoughts, and more.
I don't want to hurt myself I just want to curl up in a ball and cry..... even though we don't have a threat for a you know.... Im still anxious all around...... and even if the threat for a you know is far away from I live I still get anxious... I don't know why but I do.....
And im hoping tomorrow will be a better day for me..... I cannot wait to move to Alaska and get away from the Midwest and just feel peace from any bad weather..... I could care less about snow and blizzards those don't scare me I love snow I'd take that over a severe thunderstorm any day.. because snow cannot destroy things it just covers cars, roofs, windows, porches, patio furniture, roads, trees, etc it cannot hurt you like a thunderstorm can... that's why I wanna I move there I'm already physically and mentally ready to move to Alaska for the spring and summer months and come back to Michigan during the winter and fall months....
That's what I wanna do a lot of people on here are supporting me on this and I really appreciate that.
Plus it does not help that my gf is going through a rough patch right now which seems like every other day... like a few days ago she was totally fine and then Saturday bam she's not fine so I don't know what to do and I can't reach out to her since she's offline and has not answered any of my texts that I have sent her today and yesterday....
I'm getting very worried and it's making my anxiety for the weather worse..... I'm hoping I sleep through it since it's gonna be at night and when there's thunderstorms I usually turn on both my ceiling and floor fans on full blast and also my noise machine on full volume and I listen to sleep music on my I pad to drown out the noises from outside so I can sleep without worrying..
I hope after this we get a break from bad weather for a while and I can finally be mentally stable enough to get me through the day without constantly worrying about the weather...
the one thing that is making me feel better is that there are only 48 days until the beginning of September and I have a count down for that and if I get anxious about the a weather I look towards that and I feel better.. tomorrow will be 47 so yeah don't call me weird but that's what helps me through this....
