Till Death Do Us Part

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The day has finally come! After some finagling we were able to convince the counsel to allow us to have the mating/wedding in New York where I can do it infront of my pack and join it with their mating ceremony as well. 

There haven't been any issues between any of the pack members and Rome.  Abel keeps his distance when ever Rome is around which saddens me but I get it.  I'd most likely do the same. I thought someone would object to having the shifter mating ceremony considering Rome isn't even a shifter.  Mr. Quint has been quiet through all the pack meetings about it. I should be happy. Instead I'm riddled with anxiety and dread. I've been having the same nightmare every night this week. Rome and I are all smiles, ridiculously happy surround by all our guests and then there's just screams and I'm covered in blood. I usually wake up screaming, in tears and drenched with sweat. Rome says it's just my nerves and the fact that it's been so quiet I always expected things to happen. I guess he's right.

I pace back and forth wringing my hands. I can't shake this feeling. A knock at my door stops my pacing. "Come in." The door opens slowly and Leo peeks his head in looking around for me. When his eyes land on me they widen and his jaw drops. His eyes drag from my head down to my toes.

"Ava." His eyes start to water and I watch his Adams apple bob up and down as he swallows hard when he steps in to the room. . "You look." He pauses again. "I don't have the words. Beautiful isn't even enough. Your dress and hair are perfect." I look down feeling shy as my face heats up. My wedding dress really did come out perfect. I wanted something simple and Rome insisted on something extravagant. So we came to a compromise and I got a plain white ballgown with a deep V bust. My hairs in a bun with a plain white veil.

The door opens again

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The door opens again. "What's wrong?" Abel comes rushing in.

"She's just nervous. She'll be fine." Leo tries to reassure him. Abel shakes his head. And takes my hand.

"No Leo she isn't. She's been having nightmares every night this week."
I narrow my eyes at Abel and pull my hand from his.

"Sometimes I really hate that you can feel everything I feel. Isn't there a way to block it?"

"You have to reject him" Leo says like it's nothing, making Abel flinch back.

"No, I won't do that. I looked it up in the library. I wouldn't wish that pain and heart ache on anyone." Abel's shoulders sink as he visibly relaxes.

When I looked it up I didn't expect rejection to cause such a physical reaction. Rome had told me he wouldn't be able to take it if I rejected him, and I remember how I felt when I thought he was going to reject me but that was nothing compared to the stories I read of others who were. The pain in your chest gets so bad some have killed themselves after a month of trying to live in the same pack with their would be mate. Others have done it right away to avoid the heart ache and mental anguish. No I can't verbally reject Abel. He already knows I'm not picking him. But to say it; the finality of it would make it real. I wonder why I don't feel as bad not being with him as he does not being with me? Abel's hand lifts my chin with the side of his knuckle his eyes just waiting to make contact with mine.

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