The Egoistic Bastard

Chapter 29 - Trust Me?

Chapter 29

“It’s just that, you know, I was so stupid for thinking that for one second I can trust him. And I was going to say yes, but he just..”

*sniff sniff*

“You know what? You should go home, get some rest and-“

I cut him off.

“No! I don’t want to go home. It hurts too much.”

If you’re wondering who I am with right at this moment, I’m with my super awesome ex-boyfriend, Joshua.

Yes, siya yung tinext ko kanina. Naalala ko kasi yung sinabi niya nung nasa may elevator, na ‘pag kailangan ko ng taong malalapitan, andito lang siya. Kaya nga andito siya! Hik hik hik.

I cried so much tonight.

Pinunasan ko yung luha ko tapos hinarap ko si Joshua.

Kung kayang gawin ni Julian sakin yun, kaya ko ring gawin sa kanya!

“Joshua, will you kiss me? Please. I want to forget. I want to forget about him, just a minute. Please.”

And he did.

We were kissing (how I missed Joshua’s kisses) and then suddenly may humila kay Joshua tapos the next thing I knew, nasafloor na siya tapos dumudugo ang ilong.

Sobrang bilis ng pangyayari, bigla ko na lang naramdaman na may humihila sakin palabas nung bar. Medyo wala na akong lakas dahil sa dami ng nainom ko, kaya hindi ko rin magawang pigilan kung sino yung humihila saken, at hindi ko rin siya makita.

Tapos nakalanghap ako ng fresh na hangin. Woo, sarap sa mukha! Parang facial! Hik hik hik.

Humarap sakin yung lalaking humila sakin palabas ng bar. Bouncer ba ‘to? Bakit ako yung hinila? Wait lang nga, ano bang nangyari sa loob?

“What the fuck were you doing?!”

Woah. Head rush.

Lumaki yung mata ko bigla. Tapos biglang luminaw yung paningin ko. Nawala ang kalasingan ko nung marinig ko yung boses nay un, tapos nakita ko kung saan nanggaling yung boses.

*blink blink*

“Julian?” sabi ko.

“Now you’re saying my name like that! What the fuck is wrong with you? Why were you kissing him? And why are so drunk? You look wasted!” sigaw ni Julian.

Teka nga, bakit ba andito siya at sinesermonan ako?

Kitang-kita ko sa mukha niya yung galit at pag-aalala. Hindi ko alam kung anong mas intense, yung pag-aalala o yung galit.

“What is it to you? Boyfriend ba kita?” sabi ko.

All the color drained from his face. Parang nalungkot siya na ewan. Tapos parang tumindi yung galit.

Eh pasensya, galit din ako (at lasing).

“At isa pa, ikaw lang ba ang pwedeng humalik ng ibang babae? Bakit, nagsasawa ka na ba s apaghihintay at hindi mo na natiis kaya nanghalik ka ng babaeng hindi mo naman at girlfriend, at hindi mo rin naman nililigawan?”

Tapos nanlaki yung mga mata niya. Anong akal niya, hindi ko malalaman?

“You were there? You saw that?” sabi niya.

“Yes! I was there! And I saw that you were perfectly enjoying your kiss with that bitch!” singhal ko.

“I wasn’t enjoying it, and I wasn’t aware that you were there! She kissed me!” sigaw niya.

“Would it make a difference if I was there? Oh yes, baka umabot pa kayo sa next level. Psh!”

“Yes, it would make a difference! I would probably know that I was framed!”

Sinampal ko siya.

“Sige, isisi mo pa kay Gelaine ang kagagawan mo! Ano, sasabihin mong sineduce ka niya, ganon? Pero ano, damang-dama mo yung halik eh! Damang-dama mo! “

“Akala ko kasi ikaw yun!”

Medyo natulala ako ng konti, so maybe he took this as a sign to continue.

“She covered my face with her hands, and she kissed me from the back. I thought it was your way of saying ‘Yes,’ and when we were kissing it didn’t feel right so I stopped and faced her and then I found out it wasn’t you.”

W o w . But no.

“Yeah, right. So ganun ba yun? You let someone kiss you without even hearing their voice or something? C’mon now, really?”

“How am I supposed to ask when she kissed me right away?!”

“How am I supposed to believe you when you already made a fool out of me twice?!” sigaw ko.

"Ang problema kasi sayo, hindi mo pa alam ang buong storya, gumaganti ka na agad! Bakit ka nakikipaghalikan sa ibang lalake? Bakit? Para gantihan ako, ganun? Kais nanghalik ako ng iba? Pero kasalanan ko ba yun? Hinde! Kasi na-setup ako! Pero ikaw, nanghalik ka ng ibang lalake kasi feeling mo magiging quits tayo 'pag ginawa mo rin yung maling ginawa ko! Pero hindi! Pinalala mo lang lahat. Tapos ako pa ang hindi mo mapagkatiwalaan. Hindi mo ba naisip na may feelings din ako, at malaki rin ang tiwala ko sayo, pero ngayon, parang quits nga tayo. Wala tayong tiwala sa isa't-isa."

I’ve had enough of this bullshit tonight, and I suddenly want to go home.

Tumalikod ako sa kanya pero hinawakan niya yung braso ko.

Sa totoo lang kasi, hindi ko na rin alam kung sinong papaniwalaan ko. Nagsimula nanamang tumulo ang luha ko.

“Please let me go,” sabi ko, bago pa niya ma-realize na umiiyak na ‘ko.

Binitawan niya yung braso ko.

Pero bago ako umalis, narinig ko siya.

“I love you, and I know you love me too. Please trust me on this.”

Bakit parang umiiyak siya? Bakit parang nadudurog ang puso ko ngayong alam ko ako yung dahilan ng pag-iyak niya?