Reach out for me - TNN Story

Chapter 17 - Marjorie Struggles

⚠️Disclaimer: This chapter will contain details about how body dysmorphia can also really affect an individual, even if it isn't as obvious than others. I think it's quite important to spread awareness about body dysmorphia, as it is stereotypically seen as someone who "is thin" are able to have this disorder. In actuality, both eating disorders and body dysmorphia can happen to anyone. And growing up with this it's hard for me to come to terms and not invalidate my own experiences because of it.

So I hope this can spread awareness and not make you feel as alone in this, I'll stop rambling and here you go.
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Throughout the night Marjorie's phone kept buzzing and ringing with all the notifications from Adam, and many other people. She tried so hard to ignore them but it was becoming overwhelming as the time went on.

She led in bed next to Reece, him being a big spoon to her little spoon. She always knew she could feel somewhat safe when in Reece's arm, although this comfort could never be able to stop the thoughts that raced through her mind. It happened often, more than Marjorie would anticipate to happen. The smallest of touches or even mere gestures would send her into a rabbit hole in her own mind. She knew that Reece would never feel that way towards her body, but the monotone voice of her mother played jaggedly in her head telling her, "how will anyone love you when you look like that?" And many disgusting retorts at her. Marjorie's mother was worse at trying to be in competition with her, if she had better than her mother, her mother would always try to bring her back down.

Marjorie remembered the first time Reece's small touches started glazing in her mind, when he first hugged her from behind. It may seem strange, but Marjorie's mind was funnelling thoughts in and out trying to understand if  Reece truly liked her body. His arms that day had rested around her stomach and she wondered "he probably thinks I'm such a fattie... can he feel my hangover of stomach lurking down" luckily Reece had caught on that time about it. Sometimes Reece doesn't catch on how Marjorie's mind is playing at and sometimes it frustrates him immensely not knowing anything.

It was pitch black in their room as they snuggle, the warmth of the phone screen blasted in Marjorie's face as she scurried around her bedside table for her glasses.
"What in the world?" She mumbles sitting up and rubbing her eyes, Reece was fast asleep and could feel a thing. She glanced at her phone to see various messages from multiple people yet again commenting on her body, she felt so sick of it.

Tears rolled down her cheeks, couldn't the past just be behind her now?

She thought back to her childhood scared to ever address some of the concerns that arose throughout that time span, it broke her.
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Flashback, Marjorie's POV:
I was on six when she started to make fun of my body, she made fun of my six year old body, a small potbelly(kiddie fat) my long legs, how ugly I was when I needed my glasses.

I sighed when I heard her footsteps get closer and closer to the changing room door. We were out to get a party dress for my upcoming 7th birthday, I had to beg her to buy me a dress constantly.
"Mummy please can we buy that dress??" I stare longingly at her, I thought it was normal with what she said about me.

But I was ultimately wrong looking back on this. I remembered her making such a huge deal that I "wouldn't fit into it" as she told me for the umpteenth time. "How do you expect to fit into that Marjorie?! You're doubling sizes every two seconds!" She blurts out. "You're eating us out of a fucking house and a home! Always shovelling food down yourself" she pushes me back into the changing room. "Take it off" she said, I wasn't allowed to get that dress and instead had to get a frumpy old dress that was disgusting.