Reach out for me - TNN Story

Chapter 37 - Finding out

A/N - Implied SH
Sorry it's also taken so long!
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"I'll go back to work.." was the last thing Maeve said before they all closed their eyes to open up a new morning. With grief hitting hard on Maeve she new the only way that she was able to cope was by not seeing her little Mabel's things, knowing that she would never be able to grow out of those things like most parents see. It played in her mind her going back to work, wanting a sense of normal that she had before she knew there would be no normal anymore. Again.

It pained Mia and Charlotte watch Maeve struggle and feel all that pain, knowing that they've given her and still do give comfort but Maeve always feels like nothing will be right.

Maeve felt incomplete.
She felt lost.

No one ever would tell you how to best prepare to find out news like this but no one warns you of what pain and grief you can relay by sending a message. Over the course of the week that she was off, Maeve had been receiving messages back and forth from parents and staff congratulating and wondering when Maeve, Mia and Charlotte would come back to work. Mia and Charlotte hadn't had time to tell any of the staff yet that they wouldn't be able to meet Baby Mabel. So much had gone on that it was the lowest priority at the time and looking after themselves but Maeve especially was at the top of the list.

Grief hits many in so many ways, but it wasn't unexpected when Maeve wanted to put all of Mabel's things in her room, to allow them a place to grieve at any time. Grief can destroy a person and make them seem completely fine, until a tip of the iceberg blows and it goes downhill. She could never admit it.., but in a moment of doubt and despair Maeve tried her will to go with Mabel and protect her above. Charlotte found her in the bathroom, curled on the floor with beads of blood pooling on her wrists as she cried. Luckily she found her so fast, as they weren't deep enough in that moment. But Charlotte had to remind Maeve that, "Mabel wouldn't want to see you in pain.. just as much you never wanted her in pain".

Then there were the baby hampers many people delivered to their house days after she was born, Mia and Charlotte mostly dealt with them but on the rare, Maeve would have to deal with a few of the parcels.

Though the baby clothes were what hurt het the most to look at, what hurt deeper were the joyous, heartfelt letters and cards they'd attach to the hampers. Many "Can't wait to meet your bundle of joy" Or "The newborn phase will go quicker than you know it" in these letters and it made Maeve continue to wonder what she would have been like as a mummy. And although it was something that pained her deeply Maeve consoled in her girlfriend's as to whether it was right to keep these letters, after all it showed who really cared for Mabel's arrival. It was a bit back and forth but they came to the consensus that it would be right to keep them, memories of her.

But tomorrow they would all be going back to work, they'd be going back with only each other to come home to cuddle with. "It will be alright.. when we go back to work" Maeve mutter to herself in her sleep, something to escape to.

An escape to her dreams.
To dream of her daughter Mabel...
—————— The Next Morning ——————
It was around 7:00am when they woke up to the monotone gurgle of the alarm clock, as the sun peeled back the blinds and shone over their faces. They would be going back to work today..

As Mia turned over she swept the stray hairs from Charlotte's face as she smiled, "Good morning Sweetheart... did you sleep well?" Mia leaned on her elbows and looked at her love, "Morning baby... I had a weird dream that we forgot to tell them something" Charlotte looked up to her and kissed her softly on her lips as she grazed her teeth against her lips.