𝘐𝘯𝘷𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘚𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 // 𝘋𝘢𝘳𝘺𝘭 𝘋𝘪𝘹𝘰𝘯

ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴ

I wake up to sweaty palms and a rapid heart beat. Whipping my head around, I'm  met with Daryl and I's dark bedroom, the cool air forcing both of us deep in the heavy comforter. When my eyes land on Daryl he's fast asleep, his chest rising and falling deeply, a small smile etched onto his normally stone like face. 

I take the time to admire him, silently watching as he sleeps. You can call me a stalker but you'd do it too if you could. My eyes soften and my heart stops racing from the nightmare moments before as I continue to watch him breath deeply, making soft noises that fill the otherwise silent room. 

Slowly moving my body, I reach out and press my hand upon his chest, my palm connecting with the soft plush skin. Feeling the steady beet of his heart causes my own to swell and a goofy smile forms on my face, tears forming in my eyes. In moments like these, the love that has formed for a man I hadn't known just years ago, causes me to pause. Like every other emotion that normally weighs me down is no longer existent. 

"Scar?" He asks gruffly, his eyes flicking open and close. Instead of removing my hand I rub it slowly, lightly planting small circles on his skin. His eyes continue to flicker until they finally fully open and he looks at me groggily, his eyes glossed and his mouth formed into a thick smile. 

Daryl says my name again, our eyes still holding contact and I nod with a loving smile, scared that if I speak the moment will be over and I'll come back from this high and back to earth, back to the reality of everything happening around us. "Ya ok?" He asks, reaching a hand out. 

His hand caresses my cheek and I lean into the touch, nodding slowly against his callused skin. "Ya sure, it isn't normal to wake up to ya starin at me like that." I giggle and nod, a sudden and random lone tear running down my face. 

He's quick to react to it, bringing his thumb to swipe it away. Daryl doesn't question the tears or the way I was watching him any further, instead he pulls me down right onto his chest. My ear connects with the skin, replacing my hand and I silently thank Daryl for doing so. His heart is thumping so fast, so fast I suddenly understand why he isn't questioning any of it like he did moments ago. He feels the same way as I do right now. 

"Daryl?" I ask softly, almost so soft my voice doesn't sound like my own. He doesn't say anything but I know he nodded since he always does and I let out a deep sigh, staring at the wall ahead of me. 

"I love you so much and no matter what happens-" I'm stopped mid sentence by Daryl's hand gripping my shoulder tightly and this time I actually look up at him. Shaking his head, Daryl continues to look at me with the same look in his eyes but this time there's a scowl on his face. 

"Don't say that Scar, aint nothin gonna happen to either of us." 

I shake my head at his words. "Daryl-" He stops me again. 

"No I aint havin that conversation cuz it aint fuckin happenin." His tone is angrier and his scowl only deepens on his face. I nod slowly, unwilling to find him on this topic at such an hour. 

...

There are many moments in your life that change the adult that you become, the person that you form into. I hope this moment isn't that for me. I hope that I can live through this and never have to think of it again. That I can swallow this down and never bring it back up.