Sigues Con Él | Changlix

24

Everyone but Changbin had left the home, making Felix speak. "Please don't take advantage of our time alone to hit me. I didn't mean to make you mad." The older blankly looked at his boyfriend, deep inside feeling guilt, just not saying anything. "You can stay longer if you would like. I.... I won't be down here. I'll be in my room. Please dont trash the place." Felix said before walking upstairs and stopping. "I still love you even after what you did. I..... I'm sorry for not showing it the way you would like."

The younger spoke, continuing to go to his room after saying that. Changbin just stood there, thinking of what he had just done. He just hit his boyfriend for the smallest thing ever that didn't even matter. He made it difficult for his boyfriend to breathe. He made the others step in because they knew he could probably do worse to Felix. The only thing the black haired male started feeling was guilt. Guilt and shame.

He hated it. He loved his boyfriend but was ashamed of what he had just done. He felt guilty for making his boyfriend's bright attitude go down to a numb and scared mood. He slowly walked upstairs to Felix's bedroom but was stopped when he heard loud crying from his boyfriend's room.

He caused that. He caused the crying. He felt so guilty for causing that to someone he truly loved. Changbin just stood there quietly for a while, reflecting back on what he had done. Felix, on the other hand, was definitely not taking it well. He was in his room with a blade, constantly cutting his thighs and forearms due to the thoughts that his boyfriend didn't love him. That he didn't love his boyfriend enough. He wasn't enough. He didn't give Changbin the attention he needed. He made the older mad. He provoked the outbursts since he did what his boyfriend said he didn't like after the black haired male had told him what he didn't like him doing. That he wasn't listening to his boyfriend. He didn't deserve to have a boyfriend who was clearly communicating his dislike towards his friend.

There were a lot more thoughts running through Felix's mind, making every thought a cut. After cutting, Felix lay in his bed and hugged one of his bigger stuffed animals Jeongin had gifted him so he could feel like he was hugging someone. He cried to the big stuffed animal before there was a knock on the door.

"Bin, please don't." "Please? I want to apologize." Felix sniffled before speaking. "Come in." Changbin walked in and saw his boyfriend laying there crying, sitting on his bed after closing the bedroom door. "Lix-" "You dont love me, do you?" "Lix, I do love you. I wouldn't lie about loving you more than I love my family." "So why do you treat me so terribly?" Felix cried.

"I.... I don't mean to. I really do love you, but I can't stop thinking about what Yuto or my dad keep saying. I also can't see you with Jeongin cause your relationship with him is so lovey dovey with him." Felix just shook his head as he heard this as Changbin still sat on the bed, looking at the ground.

"You dont trust me." "W-what?" Changbin asked, confused as he looked at his boyfriend. "I do trust you." Felix sat up and looked at his boyfriend with his teary eyes. "If you really trusted me, you wouldn't be thinking that me and Jeongin are together. You wouldn't be so mad over the fact that I care about Jeongin." The freckled male explained with a shaky voice before he sniffled.

"I love you, but you dont let me show it the way I want to. You push me away and yell at me. Im tired of trying to show you I love and care for you when you dont allow it." "I'm sorry." Changbin genuinely apologized as he held his boyfriend's hand and kissed it. "You deserve better." Changbin spoke, heartbroken he had actually said that. He really did love Felix, but what good was it to have his brother constantly tell him that Felix wasn't actually going to love him or was going to leave him for someone else.

"The others say the same thing," Felix replied as he lay right back down to hug his stuffed animal, Changbin laying down to cuddle with his boyfriend. "Baby..." "Let's break up like you were saying earlier." "What? No. I don't want to" Changbin retorted. "You said I deserved better. You even wanted to break up with me earlier. I'm mentally drained." Felix explained as he let more tears roll down his face. "I don't want to leave you." "Are you sure that's what you actually want?"

"I'm positive. I didn't mean any of that. I'll be better to you. I won't mentally drain you again. I want to be your boyfriend." "Then please start trusting me more." "It's hard to trust people because of what's happened to me, but I'll try." Felix nodded in response before turning to face his boyfriend and kissing him on his forehead. "Thank you for trying. I'm proud of you. I love you." Felix admitted. "Thank you. I love you."

"Bubba.... I couldn't breathe when you slammed me down to the ground. I..... I didn't mean to make the others worry. You're probably mad at me for causing a scene. I'm... I'm really sorry." Changbin pulled his boyfriend closer to him and kissed his head. "I'm not mad. I should be the one who's sorry. You didn't deserve that." "It's okay, bubba. I... I started getting used to it." The older shook his head with a frown, disappointed in himself for what the freckled male had gotten used to.

"You really do deserve better" the black haired male quietly spoke with a frown on his face. "Bubba, can I cuddle with you when I want to show you love? Or does that still bother you? If it does, I can.... I can find another way to show you love or that I care! It won't be the same, but if it makes you comfortable, I'll do it for you!" Felix enthusiastically asked as his old tears stayed on his cheeks, as he now smiled.

Changbin just frowned at his boyfriend with tears in his eyes but didn't let him see it. "Do what you would like, Lix." Felix excitedly cuddled closer to his boyfriend before kissing his neck. "Thank you!" The younger thanked with a smile. After a little silence, Felix started drawing random shapes on the older's chest as the black haired male started playing with the younger's hair.

After a little moment, the freckled male's drawing on Changbin's chest slowed down until it completely stopped due to the younger falling asleep. Changbin noticed this and covered his boyfriend with a nearby blanket before seeing the fresh cuts on the blonde haired male's arm, making his jaw drop out of guilt. He felt terrible. He made his boyfriend cut. He made his boyfriend scared of him. He made his boyfriend think in a bad way of himself because of him. He really did fuck up.

Changbin frowned as tears started flowing down his face. The only person he truly loved was hurting themselves because of him. He tightly hugged his boyfriend before kissing him and apologizing. "I'm sorry for everything I've done to you." The black haired male apologized as he continued silently crying and hugging the male in his arms. "Bubba, I'm sorry" Felix apologized in his sleep as he cried.

"What a nightmare it must be to have me as a partner or friend." Changbin sighed as he let go of his boyfriend in disappointment.

As the couple was still inside the Lee household, the four friends were in Minho's car on their way to Minho's house. "Guys, I know it's wrong for me to say this, but I really don't think Changbin deserves Felix." Seungmin spoke as he put his seatbelt on, earning hums from everyone in agreement. "Poor Felix loves Changbin too much to just leave him." Jisung sadly commented.

"That's not what's happening. Felix told me Changbin threatened to kill himself if Felix had left him. Felix, being the angel he is, obviously doesn't want that to happen, so he doesn't leave Changbin." Minho explained, making everyone shake their heads in disapproval. "Changbin needs help. I know he struggles with past family issues, but to be treating someone you love that way is just gross." Hyunjin genuinely spoke.

"Yeah, I just don't think Changbin actually loves him and is just being with him to have him away from you, Hyunjin." Seungmin assumed. "Yeah, that would make sense. Felix just needs to love someone else other than Changbin and realize there's better people than his boyfriend." Jisung added, making the rest of the group nod along in agreement.

"I also feel bad for Jeongin, though. Changbin hates him so much and wants us to ignore him and push him to the verge of death or death if possible. I...... I won't be able to live normally if we do actually kill him because of Changbin." Seungmin added. "What?! Until we kill him?! Do you know how insane he sounds?! I'm not doing that!" Minho yelled as he slammed on the breaks. "I don't think any of us want to, but we know our family is on the line." Hyunjin reminded.

"We're so fucked up for doing this. I hate doing things like this just for Changbin's satisfaction." Minho angrily spoke before he continued driving, his boyfriend holding his hand and kissing it to calm him down, making him sigh. "What do you guys think Changbin's doing to my poor Lix?" The oldest asked. "Probably hitting him more. I don't understand why he got so mad at Felix for caring for Jeongin other than the fact he doesn't like him."

Jisung said as he drew random shapes on his boyfriend's hand. "It's stupid, but Felix was actually terrified and struggling to breathe before we left. Imagine what Changbin does without us around" Hyunjin added. "I think it's the same way, just a little worse. He doesn't care if we're around when he beats Felix." Everyone sadly nodded in agreement.