Amrutha, a girl who has a family yet longs for a loving one. What happens when a truth about her life, her utter existence comes to light? What drastic events will unfold? How will she handle it? What will she choose?
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The nagging feeling in my gut won't go, especially after what that guy told in the temple. It felt like he was replying to me. I know he had his EarPods on but I just can't shake the feeling that those words "Everything you ask, you will have shortly!" were for me. Can you believe it? I, the person who hardly remembers what she said the previous day, remember what some random guy told, and that wasn't even addressed to me! What is happening to me?!?
To shake off the feeling, I opened my social media, thinking it would be a refresher to take my mind off stuff. But I was wrong! The first thing I saw was one of my juniors moving abroad with a job offer. I congratulated her on her post and moved ahead to scroll through the stories. To my dismay they were also filled with people moving abroad, getting married, having babies, etc. It was mainly all the "kill it in the UK", "Gonna miss you. Slay it in French style." "UK gained a pretty face." And all the other comments of well-wishers on their posts and stories had me depressed over the fact that I was still stuck here. After all my efforts to move out to a different country/continent, none were fruitful.
Overwhelmed by the intake of people moving abroad, I kept my phone aside and took out my journal. My journal is not a dated one, it is just to journal out my feelings whenever needed - be it happy, confused, angry, sad or anything. I just make sure to disseminate the feeling so that it doesn't go overboard in my body.
"Dear diary,
Today I am feeling extremely sad and happy at the same time. Happy for all those people who get to live my dream (and theirs too) of living in another country. I'm happy for them all, genuinely happy but there is a part of me that wishes it wasn't them but me in their place. What can I do? It is a human tendency. Can't avoid it.
I'm sad because everything I do or try to do, never works for me. I've never questioned destiny and always played along thinking, hoping and wishing for exactly what destiny has for me. I know what's written is the best for me. But every person has their limits. And with the current situation, I think I might hit rock bottom soon which I do not want to. I want my belief in destiny to remain constant and unharmed.
Everything resurfaced because of the guy in the temple. If he hadn't uttered those words and messed with my head, I wouldn't be this restless.
All the emotions I'm facing are too overwhelming. I need to, at any cost visit Chamundi Betta to get the peace of mind I'm currently lacking. But who will accompany me? I'm sure my parents will not. They have already told a big NO to me and I'm in no state or mood to bear another one of their taunts. I guess I will have to just go there by myself."
See, that's it! That's why I make it a point to journal out my thoughts and feelings. I wouldn't have gotten the idea of going to Mysuru by myself if hadn't written my frustrations down. Journaling has helped me in such matters. Now the next thing to do is convince my parents to let me go alone.
Just in time, my parents came home! I walked out of my room to greet them.
"Oh wow! What special today? Madam has come out of her room on her own." My father taunted. I silently accepted it because normally I wait for them to call me out.
