Blood Ties

18 - Video Effects

Once the high of my ego came down, I was filled with the same old guilt. Guilt that the guys met with this fate because of me. I know it is very depriving of myself but that's the norm. That's what my parents and my surroundings have taught me over time. No matter how hard I try to change this feeling, it just doesn't happen. It's like the thing is engraved inside my system. But I'm sure I will get over it. I have this sudden inner warmth that things are to change for me soon.

I walked into my room still processing everything that happened in a matter of days, the groping, the low growl, the video, and their death.

I lit a candle, played some soothing music and sat down to meditate. It's something I've started doing since returning from Mangalore. It has helped to a certain extent.

After 15 minutes of meditating, I felt relaxed. I walked out of my room and headed to the kitchen.

"I won't * cough * ever * cough * tease any * cough * lady! Sorry sister * cough * for what * cough * I * cough * did to you at * cough * the bus stop."

My father was seeing that horrific video. It was so torturous, especially knowing that their apology was to me.

*How sure are you about that? You weren't the only girl he would have groped.* my subconscious spoke. She was right. It could be addressed to someone else, or me. The timing was too perfect to think the apology was to someone else.

"Can you please stop it? It is so horrific." I said to my father dramatically closing my ears.

"If you have a problem put earplugs or go to your room." He irritably responded.

I huffed out and walked to the kitchen. He was still at it when I returned.

"Do you have any idea how the girl to whom this apology is addressed might be feeling? First the groping, then this video." I said raising my voice a bit.

"Why are you shouting? It's not like you are that girl."

Like seriously? What's wrong with my father? How can he say such a thing?

"What if I was?" I asked. I wanted to know his reaction.

"Then we'd see what to do. But who would do it to you..." he looked at me and let out a small giggle. "Look at you. Who would even tease you?"

I was shocked by my father's response. Shocking would be an understatement.

"Well guess what! I am that girl!" There I said it. My mom stopped her tea cup midair and stared at me. My dad smirked and looked back at his phone.

"Yeah right!"

"I'm serious. When leaving from Mangalore, a guy groped me just before I could step inside the bus. And the guy in the video is the same." I almost had tears in my eyes.

"You are kidding right?" My mom asked. I nodded in a no, unable to form words without bursting out.

"Did you listen to her? Oh god!" My mom shifted to face my dad.

"So, what!? The matter is taken care of. Who cares now?" He replied bluntly.

That's it! That's all my father has to say. Now, just like every time, I was hurt. Every time he taunts and makes me feel useless, the worst part is, I let him. I've never dared to stand up against him.

I turn on my heel and go to my room. Once I'm behind the room doors I burst out—everything I was holding back, all out.

"Putta, all ok? Shall I come in?" My mom asked knocking on my door.

(Putta = Young one)

"No ma! I'll be fine." I managed to say in between all the sniffing.

"She'll come out eventually. You go get me a cup of coffee." I heard my dad say.

Timeskip.

It was the next morning. I'd skipped dinner for the night. Now, I was getting ready to hit the gym. I'm sure that will get my mind off this mess. But I guess I wasn't entirely correct.

"Did you see that video getting circulated?" I heard two people speaking while entering.

"Yeah. The guy was so guilty he ended his life!" The other one said.

Great! It's here also. I put on my headphones and walked over to the cardio section. I had to get it out of my mind quickly. That's when it hit me, the best way to clear my mind is to visit my safe place - Chamundi Temple in Mysuru.

With that thought in mind, I completed the day's workout and headed back home. I patiently waited the entire day for my parents to return home. Once they were home, I waited till they freshened up.

"Mumma..." I went behind my mom whispering.

"What?"

"Can we go to Mysuru sometime, this weekend maybe?" I asked slowly.

"I don't know. Ask your dad." Wow, the typical Indian mom answer. I walked to my father.

"Dad... are you free?"

"No. I'll have to leave somewhere in a bit." He replied.

"Not to go anywhere. To talk."

"Yeah tell fast!"

"I was thinking maybe..."

"FAST! I don't have time!" I flinched a bit at this change in tone but continued anyway.

"If we could go to Mysuru, this weekend?"

"Why?"

"Simply! I felt like visiting the Palace and Temple."

"What do you think? We can plan that easily?"

"But it is Mysore. Just a few hours away." I tried to convince him.

"No means no! If you want you go alone."

"That's not the point. I want all of us to go."

"Then we aren't going anywhere." Saying that he got up and left.

I was sad, I wanted to visit the temple. Had to clear my mind. But if I said the actual reason for visiting, he would not agree.

Like he agreed now! my subconscious mocked me.

Just then I felt a hand on my shoulder.

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