𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐘𝐀

C H A P T E R - 56

Mayra

I locked myself in my room. It rained the entire night and I cried on my pillow. Every passing second pins a needle inside my chest. I know I shouldn't have been this hyper but I'm so done with everything that at this point I don't care at all.

The next morning I freshened up and decided to go through some books to help me distract. I did not leave my room for a second and I was glad mumma left me alone for now.

I studied for more than two hours and nothing actually went to my head. Every time I closed my eyes I find myself back to last night, all red. And again those tears barged in.

"Mayra?" a knock sounded on my door and I quickly wiped out all the tears before getting up. I opened the door finding dadi waiting for me, she looks up and down "Are you okay?" she checks my temperature.

"Yes dadi. I am fine" I said tight lipped that earned me a knowing glance from her "Maid told me you came back all wet and soaked. I thought you were ill" she states looking past to my desk. I opened the door for her to come in.

"Did something happened last night?" her tone was so careful and generous as she settles on the mattress "Nothing happened" I turned avoiding her gaze and as an excuse started clearing off my desk.

"So why did he leave" my hand stopped midway. the sound of something break was louder than her voice. I was loosing track of my surrounding all of a sudden. Aarav left?

"I'm asking you something Mayra" her voice a bit sharper now as if she knows what's happening. As if she can too hear the sound of my heart shattering into pieces.

"He left because I told him to" and he listened. 

I still don't face her but I could hear her sigh from behind me "Young love is painful" her comment makes me turn around in such a speed I knocked a glass down the desk "I'm not in love with him!" I shouted but at myself. I want to keep reminding that to me so I don't feel this burning pain.

"Denial is one of the stages of love sweetheart" she thumps her hands on both her knees and gets up "And when you're out of this stage remember that.. a relationship is a matter of sacrifice. You can't expect for only one partner to do that" and with that she left patting my shoulder.

I slouched down on the floor resting my back to the foot of my bed and embraced my knees. I buried my head in between the space and let those tears escape me. Do I even know the meaning of love?

The day passed in blur and I did not leave my bed and my room. I was glad for my family for not showing up right now when I'm just a crying mess. Iti would've understood. She would've talked me out and told me everything will be alright. 

But she's not here and more over I can't even tell her of this.

The next morning I had my flight and I was all packed for it. Mumma wanted me to stay for another week but I vaguely denied her. I seemed already so stressed and I don't want mumma to get the idea that I'm lost.

Dad could not see me off this time because he was off to some work. In a matter of hours I landed in Mumbai and I booked cab but not for Ahilya mansion now.

It was long before that I decided I'll move in to an apartment for the rest of the semester. I only told it to Iti and not even my parents know about it. I should not be living under someone else's roof for longer than needed.

So I went to the new rented apartment. The silence and the emptiness encased in between these walls made my heart pound beneath my chest. 

I like to be alone but I never admired loneliness, there's a difference. 

And I seemed to have forgotten that fact when I chose this apartment which is of course close to my college but the neighborhood is oddly quite. If I was somehow found lying dead in this apartment no one would ever know except for only those who know I live here such as Iti.

That reminded me to check her text, I scrolled through many texts but after a moment of realization I turned the screen off without texting back. It would be better if I stay away for a while.. I'll be able to clear my head more easily.

I don't let myself remember that night as the days passed by, the cycle went on.. I wake up I go to college I avoid stumbling upon Moksha or Adi or... Aarav even if I know he's not attending college these days but still. 

Two days passed and I was okay to be invisible. I ignored any text that came from anyone and even Diya's too. I was in no mood to talk. Or get lectured again.

I was going through my book when my phone rang and when I checked the caller I'd it was Iti. I silenced the phone turning my attention back to the book. I just read everyone's text from the notification so I'd know if they're not in immediate need.

She called me again and this time I declined her call. Anger surged back into me and I shut the book close.. I'll break in front of her if I talked to her.

This while she didn't call instead there's a text from her that I managed to read from the notification.

Iti: I know that you're reading this and you're actively ignoring me. I did not allowed you off to an apartment to settle in hibernation there. Get yourself here right now!! It's urgent.

Nothing except for the words It's urgent made me reply her back.

Me: What happened?
Iti: MAYRAAAA WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!
Me: Tell me.
Iti: Come home. Mumma's here.

Mumma? whyy is she here? 

I rushed to change into some decent clothes and slipped out with the apartment keys. With a cab it took me thirty minutes to reach and I paid the driver in haste.

There were so many cars parked outside the porch but the one I looked for was missing, thank god Aarav wasn't home.

I rushed jogging in only to find the entire family and even the -in-laws present here. Mumma and dad were at the couch beside Suvy maa. Even dadi was here busy chatting with Ramika dadi. Even both grandfathers were here.

But the strangest thing I stumbled upon wasn't this, Rashmi bua and her daughter Tanvisha occupied the couch opposite others. They all were discussing something and when all of their attention went to me I tried not to act nervous.

Moksha and Aaksha came by my side and the former one clutched my hands with a tight smile. I can feel something terrible is going to come, I can feel it everywhere in my body.

"Mayra. Why didn't you tell me before shifting to another place" Suvy maa's tone was stern and she eyed me with a disappointed look "I.. am sorry maa" she presses her lips nodding in consideration.

"Anyway have a dessert Mayra" bua calls me as she brings me a plate full of various sweets "F-for what?" I was confused to all of them gathered here out of the blue.. and moreover mumma didn't even tell me she was coming. I was home just two days ago so obviously it's a sudden plan or she must have told me.

"Aarav ki engagement fix hogyi na" (Aarav is getting engaged) I did not hear after that.. everything dulled. My heartbeat the only sound ramming in my ears. Moksha squeezed my hand from behind and so I realized bua extended her hand to make me eat. I took that bite from her hand out of courtesy.

"With... whom?" it was even harder to voice that out.

"To Tanvisha" she comments and that bite slipped out of my hand. I felt all the eyes on me and I suddenly felt so hyperventilated.

Aarav is getting engaged ....to my cousin?

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