hotch is daddy dilf of the bau


Ally: HOTCH

Ally: HOTCHY BOY

Ally: HOTCHY WOTCHY

Ally: AARON MFING HOTCHNER

Hotch: WHAT?!

Ally: Hi :) 

Hotch: ...

Hotch: you're already on thin ice and my day hasn't even started yet

Ally: I know, I just wanted to annoy you :D

JJ: hey Walker do you value ur job?

Ally: I do actually.

JJ: then shut the fuck up. 

Ally: damn blondie, someone not getting laid or something?

Hotch: don't make me give you extra paperwork like I did with Morgan

Derek: that was so petty of u tbh

Hotch: don't start

Spencer: Ally, remember what I told you about annoying our boss?

Ally: to not do it?

Spencer: yes so please stop 

Ally: fine i'll start bothering you 

JJ: get a fucking room.

Elle: dang am I the only one who senses some tension?

Tara: fr fr JJ what is wrong with u today?

Ally: yeah did something happen?

Ally: hotch ur doing her, what crawled up her ass?

Ally: other than you

Ally: wow ok I ask a simple question and I get more paperwork, nice

Spencer: Allison.

Ally: :/

JJ: all of u can kiss my ass. 

Hotch: JJ come to my office please.

Derek: no one wants to hear u two fuck. 

Emily: ^ 

Garcia: omg I feel like I've missed so much

Garcia: what is going on?

Ally: JJ is probably on her period or something

Tara: lmaooo

Garcia: oh well to ease the tension I brought in cupcakes. they'll be in my lair if u want some

Derek: you're the love of my life baby girl thank u

Elle: hello?

Derek: sorry *the second

Emily: I'm not sure if that's much better?

Rossi: I made pasta

Ally: OMG OMW

Ally: FUCK ME

Spencer: honey are you ok?

Emily: ALLY TRIPPED I'M LAUGHING

Tara: that is so not funny

Spencer: Tara you literally have tears in your eyes from laughing

Rossi: kiddo are you ok?

Ally: if everyone can stop laughing at me I'd be better.

Ally: omg I saw Hotchner laughing at me through the window

Emily: where's JJ?

Hotch: I wasn't laughing at you, Walker, I was uh, laughing at Derek's existence. 

Hotch: I sent JJ home. She's going through something right now and she needed a break. 

Garcia: you'll be the first to have a cupcake, Ally :D

Ally: ur my bestie for the restie Penny thank u

Derek: hey now :(

Garcia: sorry chocolate thunder <333

Elle: so um, my work is done can I leave too?

Derek: no u cannot elle belle

Hotch: lol no but you can help Derek with his since he's still not done with the first report

Elle: maaan 

Ally: derek ur slow frfr

Spencer: ^

Derek: I am being bullied. 

Hotch: well be faster otherwise that wouldn't happen

Derek: I'll be fast for you ;)

Derek: wait shit fuck no please don't PLEASE

Emily: lol

Ally: u deserved it derek lol 

Rossi: why is Derek getting more paperwork-

Rossi: oh nvm I just read chat 


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