bau crackwhores
Garcia: soooo ally how was the date with our boss last night
Elle: idk if we should talk about that
Derek: ^ fr fr jj's going feral rn and she's especially dangerous since she's pregnant
Ally: it went fine ig lol
Spencer: you guess? was it that bad?
Emily: she's grinning bro it went more than fine
Rossi: what's going on?
Derek: OMG NO I JUST GOT IT ALLY DID U SLEEP WITH BOSSMAN??
Ally: not ur concern baldie
Garcia: what is happening to this team
Ally: falling apart ngl lol
JJ: Allison did u really sleep with Aaron?
Elle: don't bother lying to jj she'll go feral on u
JJ: no I won't
Hotch: JJ it's not your concern.
JJ: it is my concern when u asked her out in front of the entire team in gc
JJ: it hasn't even been 24 hours
Hotch: You have no room to talk considering your baby isn't mine
Emily: no offense jayje but he's right
JJ: what if I told u this was just a test
Elle: HELP WHAT LMAO
Ally: JJ r u fr fr?
Hotch: She's not being serious.
JJ: ur right I'm not.
Rossi: we need a team meeting right now. I do not like where this is going for everyone.
Tara: why do emily and I need a team meeting, we're the only unproblematic ones lmao
Emily: ya we're actually HAPPY
Tara: and engaged ;)))
Derek: that sounds so fake, I'm so sorry
Ally: ur existence is fake
Derek: ...
Ally: leave the girls alone u bald headed roach
Derek: why do u always come at me and my bald head
Rossi: Meeting. Now.
---
Elle: now jj is crying wtf bossman what'd u say to her?!
Hotch: I didn't say shit, I just said we needed to privately talk about things and she just broke down
Ally: I mean, she's fucking pregnant, maybe it's the hormones. come on hotchy wotchy didn't u go thru this with ur dead wife??
Derek: not the dead wife :(((
Hotch: quit calling me that, and of course I went through it with Haley
Spencer: Did JJ kick herself out of the group chat? I don't see her name on here
Hotch: Yes. She said she needed a break.
Rossi: So about that meeting, do we all agree on handling things better from now on?
Ally: we said we'll try, damn puta
Rossi: please don't call me that, I know what it means
Ally: oh really sr. no puedo conseguir una esposa que no se vaya (mr. can't get a wife who won't leave)
Derek: since when did u speak spanish
Ally: since 2 seconds ago with google translate lol
Rossi: what does that mean?
Rossi: I guess I'll google it
Elle: don't rossi lol
Ally: no do :)
Rossi: Allison...
Ally: BYEEE
Rossi: Aaron why are you laughing
Hotch: Because Ally is funny
Ally: finally someone with a brain that thinks I'm funny
Spencer: I think you're funny
Ally: hey spence who do u think is better in bed, me or derek?
Garcia: I just gasped
Hotch: Ally.
Ally: what I'm curious lol
Elle: ...me too
Emily: ^
Tara: ^
Derek: ^
Spencer: I am not answering that!
Ally: why, because ur afraid i'll be mad that ur gonna say derek lol
Spencer: No!
Derek: come on pretty boy, u said I was pretty damn good!
Rossi: Allison why did you bring up your past drama with Reid, now the drama is gonna unfold all over again
Ally: I promise it won't be drama, I'm over spencer lol I consider him a...pet or something idk
Spencer: WHAT
Derek: I mean. He kinda is
Garcia: ^
Spencer: Rude. I am not a pet.
Derek: he's like a kitty cat, meow
Ally: fr fr ^
Spencer: I hate you all
---
ngl I think I'm just gonna end this fanfic lol idk tho
