the wicked bitch of the west is gone!!!
Elle: so I met someone
Derek: no u didn't
Ally: derek stfu who is it elle? is he the one? ;)))
Elle: *she and maybe...
Derek: damn that's hot
Spencer: who is it Elle? I'm happy for you!
Emily: same. we need some happiness around here tbh
Tara: fr it's been nothing but drama lately
Garcia: OOH WHO IS SHE ELLE??
Rossi: Is she going to answer or...?
Elle: it's ur mom ;)
Derek: foul play
Ally: bamboozled me on that one, nice job elle belle
Garcia: oh :(
Elle: lol love u penny
Tara: well on a more serious note, r u fr seeing someone elle?
Elle: actually yes, and it's really a woman. i'm bi lol
Ally: AWWW THAT'S SO CUTE CAN I BE THE FLOWER GIRL WHEN U GET MARRIED TO HER
Elle: sure ally :)
Ally: YAYAYAYAYAY
Derek: what's her name?
Elle: her name is kayla, she works as a receptionist at the hospital
Rossi: I'm happy for you, Elle!
Elle: thanks rossi :)
Hotch: Briefing starts in 5.
Ally: i'm omw to ur office for a little less appropriate briefing if u catch my drift
Emily: she's wasting NO time
Tara: ^ fr I respect it
Hotch: I'm locking my door.
Ally: bro
Derek: trouble in paradise? lol
Ally: he's still mad at me about the whole strauss gc thing lmao he'll get over it
Emily: hotchner has no sense of humor, r u surprised? lol
Ally: tbh no
Hotch: Of course I am still mad at you Ally. I nearly got fired over your damn behavior. You're almost 31, it's time to start acting like an adult.
Ally: and u need to start acting younger, ur starting to sound like strauss lol
Emily: LMAOOOO
Derek: even spencer is laughing hELP
Spencer: I'm sorry I'm sorry!!!
Ally: ik I'm hilarious, there's nothing wrong with acknowledging that
Ally: now why tf did I get a full stack of paperwork for? hotchner ur losing ur damn mind!!
Hotch: You know why. Meeting in the conference room now.
---
Ally: thanks to this bitch I have to stay an extra hour to finish this shit
Spencer: I can stay and help if you want
Hotch: No Reid, when you're done with your stuff, you go home. Ally is a big girl, she can do it herself
Ally: why do u hate me
Hotch: I don't hate you, I just need you to start growing up a bit.
Ally: lol u knew how I was before we even got together bossman u should know it's my personality and I'm not changing for no man
Emily: SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK
Hotch: Can you at least tone it down? Because I'm afraid the next thing you do, I could kiss my job goodbye
Ally: how about u kiss me instead
Derek: smooth lol
Ally: aww yay he did it!! ok sir I'll behave :D
Hotch: Thank you.
Elle: hey has jj had her baby yet
Derek: omg I forgot about jj
Hotch: she's due any time now but she hasn't had it yet that I know of. I'm going to reach out and see
*a few minutes later*
Hotch: Dumb bitch had the baby earlier this week and didn't tell me
Elle: WHAT
Rossi: JJ had her baby? That's great news!
Ally: shut up Italian man.
Ally: now that she is no longer pregnant, can I beat her fucking ass?
Tara: fr fr ^
Emily: He's thinking about it omg
Garcia: how about no one beats no one's butt? JJ is a friend who is clearly going through issues
Derek: baby girl I love how much u care for others, it's truly inspirational
Derek: but jj is definitely in the wrong here and I think u know that, u just won't admit it to urself
Garcia: :(
Ally: penny ur an angel, ily but how she treated hotch was horrendous in so many ways
Garcia: I know...I don't know why this is so hard for me to choose whether or not I'm pissed at her
Tara: ur not the type to be pissy at anyone penny, that's why we love u
Elle: ^
Hotch: I just don't understand why JJ wouldn't tell me. I'm the fucking father.
Elle: what if ur actually not?
Hotch: No I am. JJ sent me the paternity results via email
Tara: u know there's a way to fabricate those results, don't u
Hotch: ...
Ally: nah if that's the case, I really am going to go beat her ass
Hotch: ^
Emily: do u know what name JJ gave the baby?
Hotch: honestly I'm not surprised she gave the baby a name without consulting me but yeah, the baby's name is Aubrey.
Garcia: that's a cute name. But what names did you have in mind, sir? if you don't mind me asking
Hotch: I was leaning towards Ivory or Isabella
Ally: omg I love the name Ivory
Elle: fr fr it sounds badass
Elle: sir if u and ally ever get pregnant and have a baby and it's a girl, name it Ivory!!
Hotch: It's too early to even be discussing this
Ally: u and jj began having sex right when u two got together
Hotch: ...
Hotch: how the fuck do you even know that?
Ally: a girl never reveals her secrets
---
jj is the villain in this book if you don't already know lmao but in the show, she's a sweetheart and I love her. I just wanted to spice things up a bit in this book :) I may bring her back sooner or later, idk yet.
