family forever
Ally: hey guys guess what
Derek: no one cares
Spencer: what is it Ally?
Ally: ur mom.
Derek: I knew it
Spencer: my mom what?
Rossi: yeah I don't get it either
Derek: yall are so slow fr fr keep up with today's times
Derek: it was a ur mom joke
Ally: why'd u explain it, it would've been funnier leaving them confused
Rossi: Aaron come get your girlfriend please
Hotch: I'm busy, about to go in a meeting with strauss
Ally: wait I forgot about her, when did she come back? lol
Hotch: 2 weeks ago
Spencer: Ally you seriously didn't know that? She literally spoke to you last week
Ally: ...
Ally: I may have been slightly drunk that day
Hotch: ...
Hotch: how did I not know that
Ally: well I don't remember drinking a lot, I may have just been tipsy. Usually when I get tipsy I can communicate and balance myself better
Derek: lol loser
Ally: spencer smack his bald head for me i stg
Derek: babe don't u dare
Derek: WHAT THE FUCK
Ally: thank u rossi ur a g
Derek: WHY ARE U ALWAYS HITTING ME ROSSI WHAT DID I EVER DO TO U
Rossi: you exist.
Spencer: Oh
Emily: the italian snapped I'm screaming
Tara: omg go rossi!!
Ally: help I can't breathe, rossi ur hilarious !!!
Hotch: I'm back from my meeting
Hotch: David are you feeling okay?
Spencer: Ally is still laughing lol
Ally: BECAUSE IT WAS GOLDEN
Derek: is it because I'm black? yall r racists
Spencer: woah whoa whoa Derek.
Ally: who tf do u think ur talking to
Ally: we're not racists
Ally: ur just easiest to pick on
Derek: I hate it here
Rossi: I'm sorry Derek. I won't pick on you again.
Derek: do u mean it
Rossi: I'll try to mean it
Hotch: LMAO
Tara: no way even Hotch is laughing, Rossi ur a king
Ally: hey guys I just thought about this
Derek: u have thoughts? didn't know u had those
Ally: lol u thought u ate #loser
Ally: anyway jj and elle fell off the face of the earth randomly
Rossi: well Elle quit some time ago, and JJ hasn't been on the team for months
Ally: ik but I thought they'd still want to be on this gc
Spencer: well JJ has her baby she's taking care of as well
Hotch: that also happens to be my baby
Hotch: Dave's right though. Neither one of the girls are back on the team so why would they still want to be on the group chat?
Ally: bc they love us even tho it was all drama throughout their time on the gc??
Tara: I miss elle but idk if I miss JJ
Emily: I miss JJ with all my heart and soul
Tara: ur like half in love with her aren't u
Emily: what no
Tara: ...
Emily: ok I had a big crush on her when I first joined the team but I married u didn't I?
Tara: I'm not mad, I was just tryna see something and I was right lol
Garcia: hey guys!!
Derek: baby girl where were u
Ally: she was with your mom
Garcia: what??
Garcia: oh it's a mom joke lol
Garcia: I was at the dentist but I'm here now chocolate thunder <3
Derek: well come over here and show me some lovin'
Spencer: ...
Garcia: as much as I'd like to, I was just sent some computer filing stuff so I gotta go do that
Derek: damn ok later.
Spencer: hello??
Derek: lol baby u can join us
Ally: derek ur seriously not offering ur own boyfriend a threesome with penny who happens to be ur best friend r u?
Derek: what's wrong with that?? :)
Spencer: uh EVERYTHING?
Hotch: Yeah Derek that's pretty sus
Derek: ??
Derek: who taught u that
Hotch: Take a guess
Ally: :)
Garcia: Derek if you weren't dating Reid, I would've said yes but he's clearly not comfortable with that
Derek: wait u would do me if I wasn't with spencer??
Emily: I believe that's what she just said
Spencer: this conversation needs to change quick
Tara: ally when r u and bossman getting married
Ally: when we feel like it
Hotch: I'm not rushing into anything right now, and neither is she.
Tara: married life is fun u guys
Emily: fr u can have all the sex u want
Derek: bitch please u don't need marriage to have all the sex u want
Spencer: well, in religious terms, it's actually in the bible that you have to be married in order to be intimate
Derek: well 99% of the people living on earth broke those terms babe
Ally: fr me and bossman have sex pretty much every day when u guys aren't around
Hotch: Ally!
Ally: what, I managed to get the hottest dilf to be dirty with me. I won in life, I'm allowed to brag
Tara: hottest what??
Emily: dilf=dad i'd like to fuck
Spencer: shouldn't it be diltf?
Hotch: ...
Ally: u know what, ur right spence, my bad.
Emily: LMAO his poor innocent mind
Rossi: I can never keep up with what you guys are talking about
Tara: then let the adults do the talking, shhh
Garcia: I made brownies
Derek: already on my way to ur lair of greatness baby girl
Emily: u two better not fuck while ur in there lol
Spencer: I thought we agreed to change that subject
Garcia: guys Derek and I are just bffs
Garcia: so Emily, please don't take this the wrong way, ily but shut the hell up :)
Ally: penny SNAPPED AND ATE AND LEFT NO CRUMBS
Ally: also I beat u to her office derek hehe
Tara: wtf u were just here
Garcia: omg I didn't see u behind me
Derek: bitch how did u do that
Hotch: I saw her walk out the doors as soon as Garcia sent the text
Derek: why am I not surprised
Ally: these brownies hit diff fr fr
Derek: so good yes yes uhh yes so so good so delicious baby girl mmm
Emily: ...
Tara: derek wtf
Derek: I was talking about her brownies u nasty asses
Ally: ur weird af derek I'm eating the rest of them
Emily: wouldn't it be hilarious if someone dosed the brownies with marijuana lol
Hotch: No. If that was the case, I'd get to the bottom of it immediately
Spencer: we should smell them just in case
Ally: too late I ate all of them
Rossi: Seriously Allison?
Derek: no she didn't, there's like, 5 left
Ally: I feel fine af nobody drugged these brownies
Spencer: the affects would take minutes to go into effect if they were dosed with marijuana
Spencer: it really depends on how many you eat
Derek: ally ate like 4 or 5, I'm on my second brownie
Hotch: Four or five? Ally please don't eat any more
Ally: fine ur lucky ur hot
Hotch: and I'm your boss. If these brownies were to be dosed, I'd have to take you home immediately
Spencer: or I could. I haven't had a brownie
Tara: why r we still talking about it, can we figure out if they actually have been dosed
Rossi: uh Aaron?
Hotch: Yes Dave?
Rossi: They've been dosed with marijuana
Hotch: shit.
---
alright this is the end of the book. Thank you for reading! I might make more of these groupchat fanfics in the future because they're fun to write :D
