I always wondered why he did it. Or rather, why he didn't. Why he didn't just stab me with that knife like he should have done. I didn't deserve to be left alive, not after I had intended and tried to kill him. Even though I was convinced at the time it was the only way I could have had a chance of survival in this world, time taught me that no, I truly was no better than my father, no matter how much I despised it.
How someone could be so fucked up to have their own daughter so traumatised she'd be willing to risk her life to get away from them I never understood though. It took months to realise it had all been planned from the very start of my life; his own way of 'preparing me for the real world', as he called it. A place so cruel you needed to be able to hold your head up high. He'd repeated it so often I could never forget anymore; "to know how to deal with something, you have to have experienced it before." But to make an entire program from scratch just so your daughter would join and get hurt more than you could possibly imagine? Going through things you would never encounter in the real world? That was truly something only a maniac could do.
As soon as I woke up again in that same, cold, white room, fully unharmed, the only warmth there being the memory of Hyunjin's lips against mine, I fled. As far away as I could. Fearing for my father to somehow come back to find me, for the team to realise I wasn't dead all along, to take revenge after all. And yet, watching them stand around my own grave five years later still felt weird. I knew they all thought I was dead now, except Hyunjin of course. Even I thought I passed away. There were times I wished he did just put an end to it all. Even though I'd officially passed my father's test and was found worthy by completing the funhouse, the freedom I found after had never been able to make me happy. Not even a little. It wasn't that I missed home, absolutely not. I was glad I was out of that hellhole, but sitting in a shabby apartment alone every single night wasn't what I wished my life to be either.
No matter how cruel that place was, I could never help but wish I was back there, at the very start of it all. Full of hope, next to people who were caring for me like I'd never felt before. Actually feeling invincible. Maybe that was why I could never seem to move forward. After all these years it wasn't fear that kept me bound to them, but a longing, yearning feeling. No matter how I tried, nothing ever made me feel the way those eight guys did. Maybe that's why I found myself still watching them after all those years, because I still longed for time to take me back.
It was a miracle to see all eight of them together again. It only happened once a year, and last year ended in yet another horrible fight between Chan and Changbin. I couldn't blame them though, after all they'd been through. Even far after the funhouse had ended, things were never the same again with the group. I couldn't make out anything they were saying as I simply stood too far, but watching the tears still streaming down Seungmin's face after five years still hurt. He was the only one that still hadn't seemed to have gotten over it yet. There were times I wished I could have just run up to him, telling him I was still alive, but I knew it would only ruin them even more.
And yet, I couldn't get the idea out of my head. That selfish wish to get together again with the group. Even though I so obviously knew how much they must hate me if they ever were to see me again, they were all that could ever give me a glimpse back of happiness. I wiped away a single tear, turning my back to them. This was the last year they would all meet, I'd overheard last year. After five years of remembering, five years of wishing things never happened, it was time to let go, for everyone. Which meant it was time for me too, to truly say goodbye to them all for the last time.
Until I heard my name called out, that was.
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I got you guys good there, didn't I? You didn't really think I could just leave it at that, right? Though I don't know when, there are definitely plans for a sequel, and I am currently busy mapping everything out for it to be launched! All of the loose ends, the open ending, and all the aftermath will be discussed and portrayed in the sequel, as well as all that comes with it once they find out our dearest Y/N isn't truly dead.
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✔️The funhouse of murder • Stray Kids X reader✔️
Fanfiction*trigger warnings at the end* -completed- Funhouses, they should be fun right, like the name suggests? well, this one can be, it just depends on how you look at it. If being tortured to death is your thing, go for it! Many have tried it, always wit...
