Hazbin Hotel as Brandon Rogers quotes

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exactly what it sounds like. some Hazbin hotel characters with Brandon Rogers quotes that fit them. some quotes are edited to make sense. 

TW for mention of SA 


Charlie:
'The lotion is for your HANDS AND FACE, I CAN HEAR YOU FROM MY OFFICE!'
'The only thing you're hurting are my feelings.'
'I JUST WANT SOME FUCKING TEA' 
*sees susan* 'Look at that vampire!'

Vaggie: 
*Talking to Angel* 'If you cut sushi like you suck dick I'd have a three course meal by now.' 
'Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, thanks for bringing your fucking kids.' 

Alastor: 
*Literally shoves a heart into his chest.* 'I'm ready to be compassionate.' 
*hears a gunshot* 'Finally.' 
'What are you supposed to be? A disappointment?'  

Angel Dust:
'I wanted to become a ballerina, you know what I became? HIV positive.' 
*referring to vaggie* 'I AM UNDER ATTACK BY A LESBIAN!' 
'I- I do a lot of drugs.' 
'My purpose is to make money and suck dick!'

Husk: 
'How does it feel to be a loser?' 
'I drink to forget but I always remember.' 
'How many times do I have to have to say it before pulling the trigger?' 

Niffty: 
'Christmas is never cancelled if you know how to steal.' 
'I'm going to have a wonderful seizure.'
'Bees can fly and dance because nobody ever told them they couldn't.' 

Adam: 
'Oh dear, I seem to have spotted a CUNT.' 
'One of the second graders is on fire and I don't think they're gonna make it this time.' 
'My wife is period-ing' 

Cherri: 
'I'm not yelling because I'm angry, I'm yelling because I'm ON ACID.' 

Velvette: 
'Look at me strut.' 
'I HAVE SEWN MY FINGERS INTO THE CASHMERE!' 
'I haven't seen you in fifty years and you still look like a slut.' 

Vox: 
'TELL ME WHERE MY WORKER IS OR I'LL SUCK YOUR GOD DAMN DICK-' 
'Do not trust this man, he's a psychopath and he eats people.'

Val: 
'I can't shove this up my ass.' 
'I know your mothers and you're all products of rape.' 

Lucifer:
'Shit, my baby is french fries.'
'Church girls don't need to get fucked because they already are!' 
'What if I don't know thirty people???' 
'SHIT, MY BABY IS A CASSEROLE' 



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