Roxy: right, so what have we learnt about Sapphos?
Arackniss: she was like... the original lesbian.
Roxy: exactly! *Writes The Original Lesbian on the whiteboard*
Scar: Queer ally, yay
(Gotta include a straight person to meet the diversity quota)
Alex: *Frantically points at Chilli.* DO NOT BE FOOLED, that is NOT a manic pixie dream girl, that is a FERAL AUTISTIC NON-BINARY, and they're very quick to anger!
Note, this is 100% canon
Emily: *enters her room the afternoon after coming out as pan*
Emily: *finds a flannel shirt folded up on her bed.*
Note from her dad next to it: I saw some of your gay friends wearing these, I hope they're ok for pansexuals too.
Eight year old Gina: why can't I just do all the stuff I'm supposed to with guys but with girls?
Eleven year old Eric: that's just called being a lesbian.
Eight year old Gina: ...interesting...
Roxy, finding Enola lying face down on a footpath: damn, someone tossed out a perfectly good queer.
Young Katniss: *frantically throws the socks they had been stuffing into an old bra* MOM GET THE FUCK OUT!
Emily, had walked in on them: HEY, I don't care if you're my son or my daughter, you do NOT talk to your mother like that!
Alex: oh my god, I think I might be bisexual.
Gina: yeah, I know.
Alex: what- what do you mean you know?
Gina: look at how you sit.
Alex: *sitting sideways with his legs hanging over his chair's arm rest*
Gina: straight people don't sit like that.
Alex: do... do straight men forget that they like women?
Eric: I'm bi.
Alex: I'm bi.
Paul, their dad: Jesus christ, does anyone in this family just like women?
Gina: *Throws open the door*
Enola: Straight men are like Excel spreadsheets. They assume everything is a date and go ballistic if you try to change anything about them.
Enola: I'm aroace.
Arackniss: ...shit, gimme a sec, I know this one...
Straight guy: us men don't like it when women *Ten page list of stuff he hates about women in size 8.5 font*
Gina: Bro, I love when women are women.
Agatha: Real, I love when women exist.
Tessa: I love when women have functioning organs that keep them alive.
Chilli: I love when women blink.
Scar: You good?
Chilli: I don't know if I'm lesbian, bi, pan, omni, neptunic, cupio, berri, demi, ace, agender, apagender, enby, genderfluid, pangender, genderfae-
Chilli: Yeah I'm all good.
Enola: *A week after arriving in Hell, is still in denial that she's a trans girl.*
Enola: *Glances around*
Enola: *Pokes herself in the tit.*
Enola: Huh.
An accurate depiction of bisexual and Lesbian women interacting
Agatha: I'm lesbian.
Roxy: I'm bisexual.
*Staring at each other for a few moments.*
Agatha: *Immediately starts making out with her.*
Roxy: Oh, baby, yes *Both fall over, kissing.*
Katniss: So I was watching Harry Potter- fuck JK Rowling, obviously, but-
Arackniss: Wait, why fuck JK Rowling?
Katniss: Transphobic and acephobic.
Arackniss, an asexual with a trans and aroace spouse and bestie: Oh, fuck JK Rowling.
Katniss: Fuck her, but anyways...
Alex: Once someone called me a homo, which at the time I thought meant homeless, so then I said "You've been to my house."
Getting bullied by trans people be like
Katniss: PFT, nice name.
Enola: what, did your mommy pick it out for you?
Agatha: So, I say some conservatives comparing being trans to an elephant wanting to be a bird, and one of the arguments they made was that an elephant can't be a bird since it can't fly.
Agatha: so, as a trans ally who loves birds, I've compiled a list of birds that can't fly;
Agatha: *Unfurls comedically long scroll.* AHEM, Kiwis, emus, penguins, ostriches, cassowaries, the New Zealand quail, Rheas, the Okinawa Rail, the Lord Howe woodhen...
Enola: There were never really any signs that I was trans.
Also Enola: When I was a child my favourite Pokémon was Sylveon.
Emily: Coming from a pansexual, please remember that pansexuals are not the only sexuality who prioritizes the personality of their partner over their gender and saying so is in fact a form of queer phobia.
An accurate depiction of bisexuals and pansexuals interacting
Maddy: I'm bisexual.
Brooke: I'm pansexual.
*Staring at each other for a few moments*
Maddy: *Tackles her and starts making out with her.*
Brooke: *Wrapping her arms around her and slipping her tongue.*
Agatha: So, yeah, I'm an asexual Lesbian.
Eric: Wait, but haven't you fucked guys before?
Agatha: Well, yes, but I did impale his eye with a broom handle.
Gina: Ass or tits?
Agatha: Thighs.
Pheonix: Dick.
