My newest fic that hasn't gotten nearly as much attention as I'd hoped, Goliath
Arackniss: god, why can't Anthony just like masculine stuff?
Angel Dust: *likes men*
Arackniss:
Arackniss: listen here you little shit-
Why serial killers don't target Italians
Alastor: *goes to stab him*
Arackniss: aye, what is this? *Snatches knife.* Mio Dio, this knife is duller than my future, you couldn't cut butter with this, *smacks him with a slipper* imbarazzo
Niffty: why does Vox call you baby girl?
Alastor: how about we stop talking for a while?
Niffty: *holds up rat.* name him.
Angel Dust: Dave the Magical Cheese Wizard.
Niffty: and he has been baptised before the lord, DAVE THE MAGICAL CHEESE WIZARD!
Pentious: *claps politely*
Angel Dust: *blinks*
Arackniss: god, fucking KILL YOURSELF
Alastor: *annoying lucifer* OoOoh, I'm Lucifer, I put my wife on the top shelf seven years ago and now I'm never gonna see her again.
Charlie: hey, could you draw some of the art for one of our new posters?
Arackniss: okay, but I can't draw turtle feet, so if there are any turtles in this, they're gonna be wearing sneakers
Husk and Angel: *flirting*
Charlie and Vaggi: *flirting*
Cherri and Pentious: *flirting*
Alastor and Arackniss: *standing in The Ace Corner, judging them*
Author, writing chapter six: fuck, I ship Arackniss with Mimzy
Author, writing chapter seven: fucK I SHIP ARACKNISS WITH CHERRI-
*Husk is in jail.*
Angel Dust: FREE MY MAN!
Arackniss: HE DID IT ALL BUT WE DONT CARE
Niffty: HE DO BE LOOKING GOOD IN ORANGE THO
Charlie: um... what're you doing?
Angel Dust: *mixing sugar, gasoline, whiskey, lime juice, and Sulphuric acid.* you ain't got Coca Cola down here, so I'm making my own.
Charlie: Angel, if you drink that you will double-die.
Angel Dust: Charlie, whatever kills me makes me stronger. *Chugs the entire thing.*
How Arackniss died
Arackniss: AND I BELIEVE PINEAPPLE DOES NOT BELONG ON PIZZA, AND IF I AM WRONG THEN LIGHTNING MAY STRIKE ME DOWN!
Arackniss:
Arackniss: see? *gets hit by a train*
Italians in a haunted house
Real estate agent: I must warn you, this home's last owner passed away-
Angel Dust: ah, pasta, si
