Alastor: That's it, you're in time out, on top of the fridge now!
Agatha: *Climbing onto the fridge* THIS PLACE IS A FUCKING PRISON.
Alastor: *Poking her with a broom* GET UP THERE!
Agatha: Guys, Velvette fell down the stairs.
Roxy: What? How????
Agatha: I pushed her.
Arackniss: god, Val was such an ass.
Angel Dust: 'Was'?
Arackniss: *Spins gun barrel.* Was.
Cherri Bomb: You think I could hit you in the face with an egg without breaking it?
Angel Dust: No.
Cherri Bomb:
Cherri Bomb: *Hurls an egg at his face at full force*
Cherri Bomb: Damn, you were right.
Angel Dust: don't ever underestimate the power of a faggot with a tambourine.
Adam: Ideal woman? Uhh... Cooks, good tits-
Vox: *Throws him out the window* a woman who's HALF SHARK and it's the TOP PART THAT'S THE SHARK.
Arackniss: How's it feel knowing that you're an embarrassment to the family?
Angel Dust: Shuddup, your ma buys you Mega Blocks instead of Legos.
Arackniss: *Gasps* You take that back
Molly: Yeah, so like, I'm honestly surprised I didn't figure out I was bi earlier.
Arackniss who does not care: Uh-huh
Molly: Like, once at church this girl tripped and her skirt sorta flew up and I could see her ass
Arackniss who is suffering: Uh-huh.
Molly: And I was sorta just staring at her ass
Arackniss who wants to die: Uh-huh.
Molly: Like- Like I was just paralyzed, just transfixed by this girl's ass
Arackniss who is tying a noose: Uh-huh.
*Playing DnD*
Vaggie: You enter the dungeon and on the far side of the room you see... a door.
Angel Dust: *Raises hand* Can I seduce the door?
Vaggie: *Face palms* No.
Cherri Bomb: *Also raises hand* Can I seduce the door?
Vaggie: Also no.
Alastor: *Raises hand* Can I punch Angel Dust?
Vaggie: *Rolls dice* Angel, you take four damage.
Angel Dust: Oh yeah? Well- Well I turn into a beaver.
Vaggie: *Rolls dice* You... do that.
Angel Dust: Now can I seduce the door?
Vaggie: STILL NO.
Alastor: I punch Angel Dust again.
Vaggie: *Rolls dice* Three more damage.
Pentious: Can I fight the door?
Vaggie: NO!!!!
Alastor: I also would like to fight the door.
Vaggie: NO ONE CAN FIGHT THE DOOR.
Niffty: I fight the door.
Vaggie: YOU LOSE.
Niffty: I fight YOU.
Husk: Is the door dead or alive?
Vaggie: IT'S A DOOR.
Alastor: Can I enslave it's soul?
Vaggie: How would you-? NO!
Lucifer: Can I build a better door?
Vaggie: *Massaging her temples* Do you want to build a better door?
Lucifer: I acquire lumber from the surrounding forest.
Vaggie: *Rolls dice* Ok, you do that.
Charlie: *Raises hand* Is the door locked?
Vaggie: No.
Charlie: I open the door.
Vaggie: on the other side of the door there's a small treasure chest-
Angel Dust: I seduce the treasure chest!
Vaggie: NO-
Arackniss: *Chewing on coffee beans from a lil ziplock bag.*
Agatha: *Sees him* Weirdo. *Starts eating human teeth from her own lil ziplock bag*
Arackniss: *Grabs the nearest person and aggressively shakes them* AM I LOSING MY MIND OR CAN YOU HEAR BACKGROUND MUSIC??
Lucifer: Now remember Char Char, if you love someone and they're okay with it, be sure to give them a kiss.
Little Charlie: *Nods*
Lilith: *Pleased with his parenting*
Lucifer: But not just any kiss. I mean full on MACKIN' IT BABY! MAKE 'EM GASP FOR AIR!
Cherri Bomb: Americans really saw an ice cube and went '...yeah thats thirty-two degrees'
Angel Dust: Who would win, a hundred Florida Mans or one of every deadly animal in Australia?
Niffty: They would breed.
Husk: I hate that that's a plausible outcome.
Young Arackniss: *Gestures wildly towards an infant Angel Dust laying face down on the floor* I THOUGHT IF I SHOOK HIM ENOUGH HE'D STOP CRYING!
Charlie: *On her period*
Charlie: Fuck it.
Charlie: *Rips out uterus*
Arackniss: *Cocks gun* Any last worms?
Molly: *Cocks worm* Any last guns?
Angel Dust: *Lasts gun* Any worm cocks?
Velvette: CALL ME SHORT ONE MORE TIME-
Agatha: Damn, someone's got a short fuse.
Molly: *Crushing Arackniss in a hug* He's so tiny!
Angel Dust: *Patting Arackniss on the head* So tinyyyyyyy!
Arackniss: *Trying to squirm away like a disgruntled cat.*
Enola: *Performing a ritual*
Arackniss: *Laying in the middle of a pentagram coz he does whatever she says.*
Roxy: *Opens door to spooky mansion* Yeah?
Charlie: I need some help with my love life.
Roxy: *Sighs and points to Agatha's cute little cottage across the street* The Louisiana Wiccan is over there, she doesn't do love potions because consent but she can give you a potion to make you prettier although usually they just turn out to make you more confident.
Agatha, The Louisiana Wiccan: *Waves from her cute little cottage* hi
Angel Dust: so what would you want in a future partner?
Alastor: oh, definitely their nervous system, it'd look strange on the outside.
*First time sleeping together*
Angel Dust: Ok, so, here are the ground rules. You can punch me, kick me, pull my hair. I am a-ok with being stabbed. Biting and scratching are on the table. You can use fire.
Husk: ...These are the ground rules? What can't I do?
Angel Dust:
Husk:
Angel Dust: Ohhhhh, so you got something reeeeeal bad you wanna do to me~?
Husk: What the fuck-
MEANWHILE IN THE THIRTIES
Alastor: Permission the treat the witness as hostile?
Judge: Permission granted.
Alastor: *Whips out pistol* I'm gonna shoot you.
Arackniss, the witness: That'll ruin my day.
Enola: I am Enola, I kill for the trees.
Enola: Cut down a tree, I'll cut through your knee.
Language differences
Cherri Bomb: Jelly
Angel Dust: Jello
Cherri Bomb: Lift
Angel Dust: Elevator
Cherri Bomb: Junior school
Angel Dust: Shooting range
Agatha: I used to say 'pee-cans' until I was bludgeoned by a shoe in Louisiana. Now I say 'Peh-cahns'
Charlie: Hey, you wanna hang out later?
Angel Dust: Sorry, I promised Fat Nuggets we'd do facials tonight and I'd hate to cancel on him last minute.
Charlie: I don't get how bisexuality would be confusing. Girls are hot and guys are hot, what more do you want?
Niffty: I want your wallet.
