JOYS OF LIFE -2 [NOT EDITED]

79

[NOT FOR SENSITIVE READERS!]

The Joys Of Life II : Chapter 79

SWELIHLE MAJOLA

Mom and dad quietly stare at me and I just wish I can hide away from everything and everyone. I cling onto the blanket covering my body.

Mom: "Swelihle, mntanami." She calls out in her brittle voice.

Mom: "We are so sorry for your loss sthandwa sami." I just stare at her silently and blankly before I talk.

Me: "The doctor said he was already dead mah which means I have been carrying a dead foetus without knowing. All along I have been thinking my child was alive and ready to come out anytime but no, I was wrong." I respond in my strained voice.

Mom: "I'm sorry baby. I know exactly what you're going through. I know my constant apologies won't make the pain better or bring back my grandson kodwa I want you to know that we are here for you, always sisi. We relate to your pain and we would be more than happy to have you share it with us so we can know how to help you sthandwa sami." She speaks softly. Dad clears his throat and quickly wipes his eyes.

Dad: "Your mother is right Sweswe wami." I keep quiet. They both eventually leave, giving me my space.

Dev: "Hey." He greets walking in. I had even forgotten that he was also here. When I went into labor, he and dad were still having a chat but they had to cut it short because of me being in labor.

Me: "Hi."

Dev: "I'm sorry." I nod.

Me: "Listen, I don't want you anywhere near me please. The child that had binded us is now gone so there is no reason for us to keep seeing each other. I'm also sure that you are happy now and relieved that my baby is dead. You won't have to keep playing hide and seek with me. The child is gone so no more stress for you and please leave me alone now. I might sound insensitive right now but I really don't care, I just hope you respect my wishes and stay away from me."

Dev: "Oh?" He says looking shocked.

Me: "Please excuse me." He leaves quietly.

****

Later on in the night, the door bursts open and my sister walks in with balloons and paperbags. Her mother follows behind her with a small smile on her face.

Xoli: "Where's my child?! I can't wait to meet her!" She says excitedly making my heart break more.

Me: "Akekho." Her mother's face changes same time.

Xoli: "Girl, don't tell me you haven't given birth yet!" She exclaims.

Me: "No, I have but the baby was a stillborn." Her face immediately turned red with embarrassment and sadness.

Xoli: "Ka... kanjani futhi Swee?!" She whispers. I simply shrug.

Me: "The doctor said the baby looked like he had been dead for a little while. The forensic team is running tests and we will receive the results tomorrow." I tell her while hugging myself, running my hands up and down my arms. I try my best to ignore the lingering pain and lump in my throat.

Xoli: "What?!" She starts crying softly and throws the gifts on the floor. She walks to me and hugs me tightly while crying.

Aunt Thulile: "I'm so sorry for your loss Swelihle, my child. I hope you heal peacefully and recover well sisi." She says giving me a light hug.

Aunt Thulile: "I will give you guys space." She walks out.

Xoli: "This is so unfair kodwa, we have been preparing for her for so long njena!" She cries.

Me: "I know babes, I'm sorry." I understood her hurting so much right now. I mean the girl decided to step up and also commit herself to this pregnancy when we found out about it. She has been very supportive, attending to most of my pregnancy hormones and cravings. She knew how to deal with my moody self and not to mention how present she was for all the doctors appointments and everything.

Just the other day, I was laughing at her when she showed me a list of names she wanted us to consider naming my baby. She had literally took her aunt role seriously.

Xoli: "Can we see her?"

Me: "Yes, asambe." She helps me out of bed and helps me with my sleepers then we walk to the mortuary department. Luckily we bump into one of the nurses who were present during my birthing earlier and she helps us with accessing the mortuary. She hands Xoli her safety gear and sanitises us before opening the shelve and hands me my baby. This time, I just crash down, on the bare, cold floor and cry my lungs out while holding my baby's cold body to my chest.

Nurse: "Please get up from the floor sisi, you can't be sitting on cold tiles while you have stitches." She pleads but I just ignore her.

Xoli: "I'm so sorry sisi." She whispers leaning on my shoulder after crouching to my level. I hiccup, feeling my tears pouring out nonstop.

Me: "Kub'hlungu Xoli." The nurse gently takes the baby from my arms before I feel a pair of strong arms pull me up from the floor. I scream uncontrollably, releasing the aching lump on my chest.

Me: "Ngifuna umntanamiiiii." I cry, hoping for some miracle to happen.

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