JOYS OF LIFE -2 [NOT EDITED]

03

Xolisa Muthombeni

I'm woken up by loud giggles, that can only be my mother's husband and their brats. I check my phone for any messages and respond to them before getting up. I make my bed, tidy up my room, and then lay out clothes for the day. I go take a shower and go back to my room to get dressed.

Mom: "Good morning sweetheart." she says standing in front of the stove, cooking. I faked a smile and greeted back.

Me: "Bye." I said after grabbing an apple and then rushed out. By the way, I use the local bus to travel to campus so I always have to be early and on time.

I am a second-year Audiology student at UCT by the way. Getting to my first lecture, I'm relieved when I don't find Dr Carson in class. That man is strict and is always preaching about punctuality and time management.

LJ: "Wussup you?" that's his greeting. He kisses my cheek and sits next to me. He hands me a Kota and we start munching on them right away. We down it with the 1.5ł of coke he had. These are some of the best advantages of sitting at the back of a lecture hall.

Me: "Thanks love." he winks at me and we start taking down notes until the lesson ends. Tutorials are the worst honestly.

LJ: "Tell me why do we still attend tutorials?"

Me: "I don't know nami."

LJ: "I just want to go back to my dorm room and sleep my heart out. Or cuddle with my man."

Me: "I want anything but to go back to that crappy house."

LJ: "Apply for a room wena."

Me: "My mom won't agree to pay for it kuyafana." I say shrugging. We both sigh excessively and continue walking to the pavilion area. I sometimes feel bad for how he or his sister has to put up with me or keep me entertained because I never want to be home early while they have dorm rooms near campus.

LJ: "Your friend went home imagine!"

Me: "What? Why?"

LJ: "She said she missed the parents but I know she's lying."

Me: "Doesn't she have tests soon?"

LJ: "She'll cope, she's a smarty pants."

*
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I was now in my room studying for tomorrow's paper. I could hear my mother's kids making noise in the kitchen which only meant that their father was back. Ever since I found out about Thabani not being my father, a lot of things started to make sense. For instance, how he always made it a point to discourage me, and he always emotionally abused me. My mother sucks up to that man much to my irritation. She is well aware of her husband's unfaithful ways and his abuse towards me but she chooses to turn a blind eye.

Leago: "Mama is calling you."

Me: "Don't you knock you brat!?!" I snapped.

Thabani: "Don't shout at my child wena!" I suck my teeth and pack my stuff. I will just Uber to Lihle's Res in the morning so I can study properly. I find my mother moving around the kitchen dishing up the food.

Mom: "Come help me."

Me: "Mah, I was studying! I have a paper tomorrow!"

Mom: "I know, you are allowed to take breaks phela."

Me: "I hope you remember your words when I fail."

Mom: "Just help me!" I take the already dished-up food to the dining table. I take my seat and we eat silently.

Me: "Mama, can I please speak to you after dinner?"

Mom: "Sure baby."

Thabani: "Can we eat in peace please!" I unintentionally click my tongue, he glares at me but I ignore him.

After dinner, Mom tells me to go continue with studying, she will do the dishes herself. I get in my room and just watch some videos. She walks in after some time.

Mom: "Baby girl."

Me: "Mom, I seriously can't cope in this house. If I keep living here I will fail."

Mom: "What?!"

Me: "Mom, you know exactly what I'm talking about. I'm always fighting for myself to your husband and you just act as if you don't see his emotional abuse towards me. Sometimes I just feel like you don't love me."

Mom: "That's not true baby girl. You are my world and you know it."

Me: "I don't know it mah. You constantly let that man treat me like garbage, what happens when someday he abuses me sexually?"

Mom: "Has he ever touched you inappropriately?"

Me: "No but he might soon."

Mom: "I'm sorry."

Me: "You can apologize by renting me a place near campus." she sighs.

Mom: "Fine."

Me: "And who is my real father?"

Mom: "Trust me, you don't want to know him." she kisses my head and walks out.