Endgame ~ Taylor Swift x Travis Kelce

children's hospital

Taylor's POV

"You're so pretty," the little girl whispered, her tiny fingers gently playing with the ends of the loose curls in my hair.

"You're so pretty, too," I smiled, my heartstrings tugging in every direction, "I love your sparkly headband."

She giggled, then, without warning, climbed into my lap and rested her little head against my chest. I could have sworn I felt my ovaries combust; she was so cute.

Her name was Maddie, and she appeared to be about five years old. Her messy brown curls hung just past her chin, bouncing with every small movement. She had on a faded unicorn t-shirt and a sparkly silver skirt, and the way she just crawled onto me... it caught me off guard. I didn't think I'd be holding a kid within two minutes of walking into the first room. I certainly didn't expect to feel the back of my throat start to sting so quickly.

But here we were.

"Can I have another hug?" She mumbled while she curled up like a cat, her head tucked under my chin.

I laughed, breath catching a little. "You're already having one."

"Okay," she said. "Then two hugs!"

I squeezed her gently. "Two it is."

We stayed like that for a while. We coloured — well, she colored, I mostly passed her crayons. She made up a story about a kitten named Marshmallow Gummybear who lived on a spaceship, and I told her it sounded like the kind of story that should be a movie. She told me I could be in it, but only if I wore a sparkly cape. I told her that could definitely be arranged.

Then, out of nowhere, her head snapped up and she furrowed her little eyebrows, "Are you a mommy?"

My breath caught in my throat, and suddenly I was aware of every pair of eyes in the room, every phone capturing this moment, waiting to record exactly what I said next.

"No," I said quietly, after a moment. "No kids."

She didn't even pause, completely unaware of the weight of her question, "You should be a mommy so I can have kids to play with. You're fun too but I like little kids more than adults."

Forcing out a laugh, I smiled and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. "I bet they'd like you, you're super fun."

Maddie nodded confidently. "I'm super duper fun."

I visited a few more children and their families in the hospital. Each child was so unique and special, I loved them all. My heart hurt for them, being stuck up in hospital walls, but their enthusiasm and just general joy towards life really put things into perspective for me. It was one of the reasons I loved visiting so much, they always showed me how to find the light in a tunnel.

On the way home, my chest felt heavier than usual. Drew drove in a comfortable silence while I stared out the window, my hands resting in my lap. I kept replaying the young girl's question, 'Are you a mommy?'. She was so innocent. She had a complete lack of understanding of how complicated the question was. How impossible it had felt to answer it.

Travis and I had made the decision together, in the earlier days of our relationship. We didn't want to bring children into a world that watched and judged and dissected every moment of our lives. We liked the idea of freedom; being able to wake up late on our days off, taking spontaneous trips around the world, being able to leave the house without a thousand tiny backpacks, diaper bags and bottles. We'd decided that just... wasn't our lifestyle.

I bit my lip gently, thinking. I wasn't sure when, but something in that decision had changed. Something that said maybe I did want... all of that.

Maybe it was last week when we'd visited Jason and Kylie, and Ellie fell asleep on Travis' chest while I had newborn baby cuddles with Finn. Or maybe it was months ago, when I saw a mom and her baby dancing at the back of one of the Eras shows, and I almost forgot the lyrics for a full second because the sight completely knocked the wind out of me.