Among The Wolves

Toulinska

After three and a half days of walking, I did it… I made it to Benkerbury. So here I was, standing in front of a sculptured granite rock, hundreds of them actually. Different shapes and sizes all precariously placed in neat and tidy rows. Decorated with plant pots, trinkets, and all kinds of flowers. Glass flowers, plastic, fake, wilted, desiccated, and fresh ones too. Of all the monuments my attention was fixed on only five of them. The burial places of five family members. Dad, Mama, Grandpa, Grandma, and myself.

I knew that the ground beneath the tombstone with my name was empty. There was no body to bury.

Two days I had been here, two days I had not moved. There was one tombstone missing which meant that there was one person still out there. My hands sat defeated in my lap. I wanted so badly to see my sister, just even a small look to hold to close to my heart. The price I would pay for the invaluable treasure.

But despite my wishes, where did I even begin? As confirmed my grandmother was gone so where did my sister go? She was not yet nine so who was caring for her? Were they doing a good job? Was she happy? Did she get the care she needed for her disease?

I reached forward and fingered the simple gravestone of my grandma. Tracing some of the letters before sitting back. Next to each stone was a small pile of wilted flowers,  what looked like daisies. Someone had been a recent visitor. Someone who knew… Daisies were like special collectibles that both my mama and grandmother adored. If they saw anything daisy, they would do what they could to get their hands on it. So to see that someone was bringing daisies warmed my heavy heart.

A small gasp had me turning my head. Twenty meters away stood a young girl, long brown locks cascaded her shoulders and spilled past her waist. Much like how mine used to look. Her normally narrow face was moderately swollen and there was a slight gray tint to her skin. In her hands she held a small bundle of flowers. I recognized the daisies, both mama’s and Grandma's favorite flower. However, most of that bundle fell to the ground when her eyes saw me fully.

“Lins!” I spun to face her completely but my extremities froze. I did not know how to go about this. My little sister thought I was dead, what if she now was thinking that I was a ghost and I scared her away?

The paled shock in her face reminded me of that housekeeper, leading my mind to the rogue that I killed. Pain rammed into my chest and tears fell onto my cheeks. How did I dare to take care of my sister when I was a murderer?

Unable to stand, I fell on my knees. Covering my face with my hands. “Oh Lins!”

“Kejyta?”

I looked up at the tender voice that called my name.  I found that Lins had taken a couple steps forward. While she had left the bundle of daisies behind her, she was still holding a single flower in her hand.

Swallowing hard I held my hand out to he4, just seeing my sister like this seemed to erase any trepidation I had about being around her, in my mental state. “Yes, it’s me.”

In a flash she closed the space between us hiding herself in my arms. Without hesitation I wrapped my arms around the small girl. Some of my wretched tears turned to happy tears. Memories flashed in my head, I had held her like this just before I left for the skills training. She made a wet spot on my shirt while crying at my departure. I had planned on hugging her just like this three months later, those three months stretched into over a year. Guilt seemed to nibble at me; it truly felt like I had broken a promise even though my circumstances could not be helped.

No matter, I was here now. I was finally holding my favorite person in the world. Everything should be ok.
“They told me that you were dead!” Lins’ words were muffled against my shirt.

More tears bit at the back of my eyes, “I know sweetie, I know. I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry.”

The apology seemed flat as it, left mouth, how did I express just tormented I was over this? How I wished I could go back in time, to roll back the hands and make a conscious decision to not cross the border like the fool I had been. Everything would have been fine if I knew everything that Bratir was a part of.