Among The Wolves

Tears

It was a day and a half gone. I stood in front of the packhouses staring at the seemingly countless bleak wooden boxes that were lined neatly in somber, heart-wrenching rows. It was an above ground cemetery. And the smells betrayed it.

Pack members from other regions were still weaving through them. Most of the dead had been identified but there were a few who were not. And so each pack had to go through the lines of dead bodies and claim their own. This was leaving empty pockets in the neatness that would upset a person with OCD.

Yet, emotions were quite too wrought to give much attention to that.

I could see Alpha G'por'r with his bald-headed Beta out there sifting out his own. This was not his first go around. We were almost as heartbroken as he was when Por'Lyn could not be found among the POWs or the dead.

It meant one of three things. The most hopeful of them all was that she never participated in the fight and was still hiding out as a rogue. The other two options were consequently the same. Either she died in battle but her form was so distorted that she was among those unnamed or she died prior to the whole debacle and there would be no knowing what happened to her.

Inasmuch, I did not fail to notice that Mes'Mu was listed as a POW but they did not make any attempts to retrieve her. All the while, I was tenderly touched when they took Bal'Tiq's coffin, decorating it with honor due to witnesses who saw the he-wolf fight vigorously for the Wos'Theian cause. Some even declared he saved their lives.

Oh Bal'Tiq, the he-wolf was a character all on his own. He certainly stuck himself out from the moment I first encountered him. How could I forget that day? I had just discovered the dead female and he was left to make sure I did nothing wrong. How long ago that day was!

And now, that once gruesome memory would now be a bit more precious.

But there were just so many...

I turned away knowing that my tears were coming again and I would need another couple hours alone to weep. I still felt no better then when I had first heard of my father-figure Hem'Lar. It took nearly eleven hours straight of sleeping before the waterworks initiated. Then, after gaining a throbbing headache I drank water and came back out here only to learn further travesties.

But I did not head for my quarters, most beds and rooms had been reserved for the still wounded soldiers. Rather I aimed for a small closet that had been situated with a makeshift bed. I ascended the steps and reached my hand out for the door.

"Vae'Lee, wait."

Ty'Bin's voice lit up in my head. I peered around me spying him walking down the pathway from the base. His hair was unruly, his shoulders slumped and the bag under his eyes matched everyone else I saw.

But still, I was thrilled to see him. I had known he was alive and well but to see him lifted my spirits immeasurably. The threat of tears increased as I rushed to him. Our arms wrapped around each other and my tears began to overflow again. There was so much to cry about. So much to grieve. How was I supposed to handle it? The pain in my soul stuck like a persistent tick. Reminding me of how much we lost and that we almost lost each other. Despite having cried so much already I did not think that I had yet shed a tear for each person that was no longer with us.

Ty'Bin also had his own measure of grief, for these lives he knew far more intimately than I. My own watery eyes could not tell if he shed any for them but he kept his arms around me as we stayed there for more than a moment.

My composer was long in coming but when it did I wiped off my face. "How's it going?" I finally asked.

Ty'Bin half shrugged, he looked dazed. "Most of the base is cleaned up. We just saw Zeta Tee'Vat back over the border but he will be back in a month to discuss a new peace treaty with us. So we only have that much time to write up one we feel is good enough. But then there is no saying if they will agree with it. I have no doubt they will have their own conditions they'll want to add."

With a hiccup, I lifted my head and squinted against the sun. "Will a prolonged signing affect us much?"

Ty'Bin nodded with a sigb, "Alpha M'est'r does not want any of the children to come back until the border is reestablished. That could even take a while after the signing."

I sniffed as I took a few minutes to reflect on what he just said. "What's the reason that Commander Tevit is going to be the one handling this affair?"

"It's not official yet, obviously, but Alpha and I strongly suspect that he will be the next Vakusian Prime Minister."

I raised my eyebrows, although the information was surprising I honestly did not know a more qualified person than him. He was loyal to Vakusi with a heart for the people despite the crummy leader. He was also hardened by experience which then meant he would be leary of foolishness.

"Are you hungry?" Ty'Bin changed the subject.

Rubbing my eyes I nodded, "I am."

"I was not able to get a ration when they were serving it."

I chuckled unhumorously, "And I was asleep."

"Do you know where some food can be found?"

"Honestly... no." I looked behind me. "But..."

"What is it?"

"I do believe there is still a pack of instant mashed potatoes in the cupboard where I was staying previously."

"Vakusian food? Would that still be good after all this time?"

I waved an arm, "That stuff just about lasts forever."

Ty'Bin squinted as he looked at the packhouses, "I'm hungry for anything." then taking my hand he began to lead the way to the little basement area I used to call home.

I found two packs left and whipped them up. We sat at the table and ate silently. Our stomachs appreciated the food and water. When we were done and dishes washed we sat back down.

Ty'Bin looked at me intently. "Um,... I need..." He sighed struggling against the fatigue. "I'm sorry."

I tilted my head in confusion, leaning towards him. "For what?"

He lifted his hand and caressed my cheek. "I don't regret it but I should have not rushed it."

A knowing came to me. I stood up and surprised him by sitting on his lap. Looking into his eyes I spoke plainly. "I regret only that you could not stay longer to give me more."

A faintest smile toyed with his lips and he hugged me close. I could feel him sag and knew if he stayed like this he would be falling asleep. "You really need to get some sleep."

He pulled back and nodded, his bloodshot eyes were sore sight. "There is a lack of beds right now. I could go back to the base, they have hammocks set up there."

I looked out the kitchen door. "Let me first see if my old bed is being used."

As quiet as it had been down here I did not think anyone would be using it but it wasn't that unknown so some lone person might have also taken advantage of the solitude. Just as I hoped, the bed was empty and clean. "There you are, a perfect place to sleep."

"You take the bed, I can use the couch that is down here."

Before Ty'Bin could turn away I grabbed his hand. The couch in this basement was much smaller than the one in our quarters. He would never get comfortable sleep on that. "Ty'Bin..."

He looked at me.

"I don't want to be separated from you again... even at night, not anymore."

No more needed to be said. We both went to bed and laid down. Ty'Bin enveloped me in his embrace and I rested my head on his chest. Only seconds had to go by before his soft snores reached my ears and it would not be long before my own matched his.

Still, in my sleep I shed silent tears as my dreams told me of those I would never see again and the things I could never unsee.