This Is Just Between Us

legally blonde GTA addition

(art by my pumpkin crowsong on YouTube, Tumblr, and Wattpad {Rainbowstar772} )

Russia pov

I lay in silence, trying my hardest to forget what happened with Cuba and focus on now.
Then America's phone buzzes.
America:"It's Katie... this could have something to do with Mexico!"
He picks up the phone frantically.
America:"Katie! Do you have an update about the court case? You know the name is the prosecutor? Ivory Coast, Ireland's twin brother? Huh... that's a surprise. Yeah-yeah-yeah, information. They don't get along, he's always had a thing for Germany, Ireland knows about it, they share a friend group and they often get confused for each other in it, he's got some violent tendencies. Well, that helps. Now what about Mexico? Hold on, New York State's Penal Law- Article 35 allows someone to use physical or death-causing harm and is considered justification? Huh... so there's a chance she'll win? Wait what? He has evidence that shows it could be a purposeful murder, crap! But we have witness testimonies. Oh, he's the top prosecutor in New York state, it would be a shame if he...doesn't arrive. What? I don't plan on doing anything to him, however I can't speak for my sister. Alright, talk to you later."
Yeah. It would really be a shame if he doesn't arrive.... A bigger shame if they learn he murdered someone, hmmm.... He cares for Germany quite a bit! Most murders often happen to family and friends of the murderer... and Germany has been getting on my nerves with how he's been treating America... one more wrong move from Germany and I might just have a way to get rid of this prosecutor.
Russia:"Wow... that is a lot to take in."
He just nodded before jumping back as a rock smashed through our upstairs window and we can hear our downstairs windows too...
I look out and there they are, Nazi and Germany.
Germany:"Being a whore up there?!"
Nazi:"Sleeping around with someone like America?!".
Russia:"I'M TELLING MY DAD! ENJOY BEING SINGLE AGAIN!"
How Immature. Not death worthy but close to it.
Pennsylvania:"MY WINDOWS!" (Hehe, Hazbin hotel reference)
Russia:"SWEET BABY JESUS! How do you fit in these damn walls?!"
America:"They're built like a rice noodle."
Pennsylvania:"I was born missing 6 of my ribs and I had a few of my organs removed illegally by Wyoming!"
Russia:"How are you the state with a taste for handy work while also being the best at construction when you only have 18 ribs and what organs did you remove?"
Pennsylvania:"My liver, my large intestine, my spleen, my appendix, my gallbladder- Oh I also had both of my fibula bones removed! Along with my thymus gland, both my kidneys since we don't technically need them, both of my reproductive organs then replacing them with a in the making gender neutral reproductive organ called a driplip! It's a single hole where either body part would be, on the inside there's two pouches that holds eggs but there's also a section that can produce (baby maker fluid) so I can get pregnant but can also get someone pregnant, all 3 of those are inside a large uterus-like flesh bowl."
Russia:"I ask what organs you removed, not the organ you replaced with a work in progress organ?!"
America:"Ok, definitely going to check what the hell is going on inside of you."
Russia:"You got him to curse, good job!"
Pennsylvania:"Dad I'm fiiine! We should be focusing on MY WINDOWS! I worked hard on those! I smelted the glass, tinted it, molded it, AND INSTALLED THEM!"
I just blink, how am I even meant to react to that???
Russia:"Just go back inside the walls, and leave the adults alone."
They saluted and went inside the wall, their arm made a pulling movement, then quickly dropping, shutting the door? Wall? Whatever it is, they shut it.
America:"They have built several things inside the walls to help them get around the house, that was a drop lift."
I blink and sigh.
Russia:"I guess it's better to know there's cartoon shit going on inside the walls of my house than not knowing."
America:"Your house?"
Russia:"Sorry, I guess it's better to know there's cartoon shit going on inside the walls of the house I'm STAYING IN than not knowing."
America:"No no! Don't correct yourself, it's fine, I find it somewhat cute that you're so comfortable staying here you're seeing it as your home."
Russia:"I said my house, not my home."
America:"Same thing!"
Russia:"No, no it's not. If it was my house that would mean A. You sold the house to me or B. We're married, and I don't have the money for this big of a house nor do I see a wedding photo let alone wedding rings. I don't even remember us dating, proposing, the wedding planning, the wedding, who was my best man again? Who was your maid of honor?"
I watch him go bright red, I smirk which causes him to be grumpy.
America:"Your best man was your brother Ukraine and my maid of honor was my sister Canada."
He said that with a grumpy huff and an upset stomp, clearly aware that his attempt to catch me off guard didn't work.... On the outside. When he said that I choked on my spit inside my mind.
I smile and just pet his hair to calm him down, once he's calm I kiss him.
Russia:"I do..."
Then I walk away to find Ivory Coast and then stalk Germany!
I google the nearest courthouse, I have no clue what courthouse the two are using so trial and error. But I guess the penny I put was dared to put inside my arm (I sliced it open, put the penny in, and someone super glued it back. Guess America missed it) is actually lucky because I ran into Katie!
Russia:"Katie! It's so good to see you in the flesh!"
She turns to me and hugs me tight.
Katie:"Oh my bright cosmic skies! It's been so long! A birdie or two told me you've been pursuing America~"
I blush and laugh, starting to walk with her.
Russia:"Cuba told you huh?"
She nodded and took me to her car.
Katie:"Let's enjoy a regular conversation because Cuba told me more than you're pursuing America. Is it true you gave him a free ticket to pound town? How big is he? Is he loud?"
Russia:"Yes, It looked to be 10in, and very! He likes being bitten too."
Katie:"Biting already? Kinky freaks~"
Russia:"Your nickname in highschool was literally kinky Katie-"
Katie:"And most of the school called you the big bad wolf... speaking of highschool and you, are you still..."
Russia:"Been clean since Senior year. I haven't touched pain killers for years."
Katie:"I knew there was something different about you! You're clean! I'm so happy for you! Oh look, we're at my office, come inside!"
I smirk and go inside.
She shuts the door and sits down, sitting me down as well.
Suddenly her face goes serious and grim.
Katie:"That same birdie told me you've moved to bigger prey, more evolutionary advanced prey..."
I go silent.
Katie:"Cevvin and Syria! Both dead, both missing heads. There is only one person I know who collects heads and mutilates bodies of living things in such a gruesome and horrific way, and that person is YOU! Russia have you lost your fucking mind?"
Russia:"I would've moved to the more advanced prey sooner if I had a place to hide them during highschool.... So uh no, I lost it the moment I saw a prey animal being mutilated by a predator animal."
Katie:"You're so lucky you're my friend or I would've reported you. But that's not why I chose to come here with you, here's some dirt on Ivory Coast. Along with some ways to contact his brother, you'll need it."
Russia:"Why? Sure I'd need to contact Ireland to learn where Ivory Coast is, but dirt?"
She giggled.
Katie:"I know I shouldn't, but rigging the case seems like the proper way to defend Mexico, because holy shit! She... she's going back and forth between defending herself and stating that what happened didn't matter... so we should set her free."
Russia:"Shit, she's really losing it... but that still doesn't explain what I have to do with this."
Katie:"You're quick, smart, charming, deceiving, strong, and manipulative, I know what you do with things you see as nothing but pure toys, you are dominant, threatening, and you can hide evidence like it never happened since you haven't been caught. I need you to help in whatever way you can to tamper with any evidence you can so I can claim he has fake evidence and poof! New lawyer. Just do what you're a master at, deception."
Russia:"How about.... I just get rid of him straight forward?"
Katie:"No! Do not kill him. They might blame Mexico, me, or America. Hell! They could blame anyone she cares about!"
Russia:"Never said I'd kill him, I'll just kill someone else and blame it on him. Don't forget I can fake evidence, I've done it before in order to not get arrested back in sophomore year. I caused that fire, you know?"
Katie:"The police said it was a freak accident! Why would you set the whole damn school on fire?!"
Russia:"Remember Mr.Brinz?"
Katie:"Yes, it was rumored that he knocked up a volleyball player..."
Russia:"He was drunk in a bathroom. A locked bathroom."
Katie:"He was the only one found dead.... Was she actually..."
Russia:"She wasn't ready. So when she gave birth she gave me her baby to hide. I gave the baby to a couple struggling to have children, I'm not heartless, I'm just violent."
Katie groaned and looked at me with a face I can only assume means "I have a lot of questions and you better fucking answer them"
I started getting nervous, she may be smaller than me, but she was a skirt person. Skirt people scare me ;-;
Katie:"So you can make stuff look like a freak accident, and fake evidence. What else can you do?"
Russia:"Make people kill themselves."
Katie:"H-how?"
Russia:"Weeeeeelllllll, I harassed them and told them America wouldn't believe him and I was correct. He's been missing for a little bit! So I can only assume he's killed himself."
Katie:"Why..... why are you like this?"
I shrug, I don't know, I just blame the voices.
Russia:"The voices."
Katie:"Get medicated."
Russia:"No! They give me medication for schizophrenia and it makes everything worse!"
Katie:"You're not schizophrenic-"
Russia:"I'm depressed! I don't know- that's a lie I do. My depression is so bad that voices appear in my head. They usually tell me to kill people and play with their dead bodies, but sometimes they tell me that everyone hates me and I should kill myself."
Katie:"I- ok going back to the plan and topic, who the hell are you going to kill to frame Ivory Coast?"
Russia:"My step brother, Germany."
Katie:"Your step brother Germany?!"
Russia:"He's getting on my nerves now, disrespecting America-"
Katie:"America? Most of the people you beat and almost killed had to do with America.... I heard Cevvin has always had a thing for touching America in ways he didn't want to be... hold the fuck on."
I see her typing on her computer...
Katie:"Common pattern. They fuck with America they're fucking with you. Yandere much?"
Russia:"Shut the fuck- oh shit."
I was gonna tell her to shut the fuck up because her calling me out is embarrassing. But I guess I came off as aggressive, because she opened her drawer and pulled out a pink gun that she cocks right before staring into my soul.
Russia:"Put the Barbie gun down, I was just going to tell you to shut up because I'm embarrassed."
Katie snickered and showed me that the gun, in fact, wasn't loaded.
Russia:"You've gotta be kidding me."
She bursted out laughing.
Katie:"I know you were, I just wanted to scare you, my loaded one isn't pink."
Russia:"Your what-"
Katie:"Well I have to go, good luck on killing your brother and framing Ivory Coast!"
What just happened.