The Bad Tour(ture)

Chapter 2 - I Just Can't Stop Loving You

Perfectionist. It's the one word I came up with to describe Michael to friends and family that kept asking me how it was rehearsing with him. I quickly came to respect him a great deal. He knew exactly what he wanted. Just when I thought Greg was my boss, Michael fooled me. He was obviously the one in charge of everything.

We were now rehearsing on stage and on one particular day, he wasn't really singing much on all the songs. He was mostly concerned with getting the movements down with the dancers. They all knew the steps, they just had to be in perfect sync with each other.

"Right there, right there," Michael said through his mic, throwing his hand in the air. He turned around to face the band as they stopped playing. "Yeah. End it right there, yeah."

"Shakira," Greg yelled to me. He waved for me to step center stage with Mike. "I Just Can't Stop Loving You."

We'd been rehearsing for weeks and the duet was never brought up until that day...

I stepped out from behind my mic stand, taking a deep breath. My nerves were still jumpy around Michael. I never saw him outside of rehearsals and in rehearsals he was a little intimidating at times.

"Wait," he said to Greg. "I want to start the song and then you," he said turning to look at me, "you start walking towards me when your part comes in."

I nodded and stepped back to the end of the stage. Michael then started it off by speaking:

I just want to lay next to you for a while

You look so beautiful tonight

Your eyes are so lovely

Your mouth is so sweet

A lot of people misunderstand me

That's because they don't know me at all...

I just want to touch you

And hold you

I need you

God, I need you

I love you so much...

As he started singing, he was kind of mumbling the words and I don't even know if he was mumbling the right ones. I was getting nervous because he was confusing me and I was sure to come in on the wrong part or with the wrong lyrics.

But then he sang out clearly, probably for me, "This time is forever, love is the answer..."

"I hear your voice now, you are my choice now...the love you bring." I didn't look to him. I couldn't without choking. Not yet. I was looking out to the audience, which were crew members and the dancers.

"Heavens in my heart, at your call I hear harps, and angels sing." I felt at ease singing. I loved performing on stage back home so I just pictured myself in a small bar singing out to a bunch of happy drunks.

We continued singing back and forth to the crew below, even on the second verse. But when we reached the bridge, he finally looked at me and I turned to him before singing my part.

He slowly made his way closer to me as I was singing to him, looking into his eyes from a distance. No hiding behind the Ray Ban's today. We got really close and for the first time I noticed his chocolate eyes. Then I realized he was singing. He was supposed to be saving his voice but he was really into it.

He smiled at me. "This is my life and I-want to..."

"See you for always!" We then both turned to the audience, me quickly following his lead.

As we sang the closing chorus and ad-libbed, we backed away from each other. And with the closing line, the music slowed down to a simmer.

Michael motioned for Greg to hold it where it was. He spun around in a circle and then stopped and looked at me as Greg played some cords that gave the moment a gospel feel. "I just can't stop," Michael sang slowly, not tearing his eyes away from me. He walked a little closer to me and nodded his head, telling me it was my turn.

"I just can't stop."

He challenged me. "No, no I just can't stop bay-bay."

With that same line, we went back and forth, it getting more intense as our stare grew deeper. The music really allowed me to get lost in the moment, to the point it started to feel—real.

It felt like I was the love of Michael's life and we were sincerely in love, throwing our feelings back and forth in each other's faces. Even the crew members and dancers below watching were cheering as we continued sharing vocal riffs with one another. But then Michael got me.

He started stomping his foot and shaking his hand and head back and forth... "I just can't! I just can't bay-bay! I said I just can't mama! I said I just can't lay-day! I just can't, I just can't stop."

"Woooo!" I heard from below.

I clenched my fist and sang my heart out, shutting my eyes and leaning forward. "No, no no, I cannot stop! Mmm hmm!"

When I opened my eyes, I met his gaze and brilliant smile.

I returned the gesture.

Then he put the mic to his mouth. Soft and smooth, he sang, "I just can't stop..." He hit a high note, "Loving..."

Naturally I sang the last word with him. "Youuuuu." We walked towards each other, holding the note for a moment. Then he grabbed my hand when he became within arm's reach. He caught me off guard when our chests smashed into one another's and he embraced me in a hug.

The music stopped and was replaced by applause.

Letting go, he started to laugh. "You made me do that," he said to me.

"Me?"

"Yes," he said pointing and giggling. "I'm supposed to be saving my voice right now but Greg-" He turned to look at him. "I loved it. It was church, it was gospel. I really love it." He turned and looked back at me. "Thank you," he said with a bow for me.

I was so flattered. "Anytime."

As we shook hands, that's when reality set back in. I wasn't the love of Michael's life and we weren't sincerely in love.

It was all just acting.